He’s always wore sketchers. Like since he was 4. Recently, he got really emotionally taking about shoes he wanted for middle school. He said if he doesn’t get Nikes he’s going to get teased. Great fucking marketing work Nike.

    • AoxoMoxoA@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      An old steel rod car antenna is the ultimate. All you have to do is slice the air a few times and the sound alone will keep everyone away

  • Archangel1313@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    When I was young (in the late 80’s) it was Air Jordans.

    But, on top of being teased for not having them, you would also get jumped by kids who wanted to steal them from you.

    • BossDj@piefed.social
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      2 months ago

      One of mine is in high school, and as much as I hate the confirming culture, especially because it’s led by morons and marketing, I choose the same path. I allowed my (now high school kid) to participate in all the awful crap that I would never do myself when she felt middle school pressure. She was in the popular kids group.

      The caveat has been it all comes with extreme education from my end. Not demeaning or condescending. I over-preach about marketing/ads/influencers and constantly question why people make the choices they do. I question everything though. “How do you know that?” often leads back to tick tock.

      In my experience, the OTHER kids are now getting smarter as they age. Mine is now able to live her life how she wants and is still with that same group , and the kids (I shit you not) look to her for purchasing advice. The vanity kinda goes away as their brains leave that dumb social hierarchy age.

      Note: My kids are/were decked out in Nike. We live by the world headquarters and a good chunk of the kids’ parents work there. If that isn’t peer pressure, I dunno what is!

  • pHr34kY@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I rock my Skechers, android phone, basic Casio watch, and drive my 2003 Suzuki.

    I spend my money on stuff that works. Not stuff that’s marketed.

    I sense marketing bullshit, and it’s such a strong turnoff for me.

    • Bazoogle@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Nike doesn’t sell proprietary shoe laces that only work with nike shoes. Or sell gloves that pair with the shoes, so if you wanted to switch shoes you’d also have to get new gloves. Apple is awful for very different reasons

  • oce 🐆@jlai.lu
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    2 months ago

    Did you try to teach him to be proud of his independence and differences? Maybe you can work with him on nice come backs against the teasing.

    • dil@lemmy.zip
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      2 months ago

      Comebacks dont matter when you can just point at the shoes and call him broke (im not a teen anymore but come on guys lol, thats when you fit in to avoid issues or have issues, no magical way out)

      • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        I don’t know about now, but back in the 90s the magical out was that you punched them in the face.

        Back then the concept of a school shooting didn’t exist, and parents didn’t threaten to sue the school every 5 minutes.

        So teachers would just let the fights go.

        “Oh, Billy tried bullying Bobby, and now Bobby punched Billy in the face? Eh…call me when they break bones and spill blood. I’m going to go make popcorn.”

        These days? I’m sure both kids would get expelled.

        • Delphia@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Yep. I was poor and weird but I was also 6 foot tall and pretty big. Its amazing what one really good punch to the face of someone does to your rep for the rest of high school.

        • dil@lemmy.zip
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          2 months ago

          The kids that dont ocassionally crash out to defend themselves are the ones ppl watch as schoolshooters like the ones that never defended themselves growing up and just simmer, the quiet ones

      • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        There is a way out, but it involves not caring what classmates think. That’s a high bar for a lot of kids, especially in middle school. Kids have to come to that conclusion on their own. No amount of adults telling them “you shouldn’t care” will change things.

        By high school I found social success after not caring what others thought. But I had been bullied my whole school experience up til that point, so by high school I had run out of fucks to give. In other words, I learned the hard way, but that’s something every teen has to figure out for themselves.

        • QuizzaciousOtter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 months ago

          Is it even possible to not care at this age though? At this point school and interacting with your peers is a vast majority of your life. I don’t think I have ever seen a kid being bullied every day at school and not caring. How can you not care if you’re scared?

          I guess it is possible as you get older, more mature and closer to adulthood. But for a kid in a primary or middle school? Kinda hard to imagine for me.

          • snooggums@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            Yes, if they have already figured out how to handle bullies in grade school/middle school. Early grade school there was a bully who picked on me and my older brother helped out. By grade five I was the one helping other kids who were being bullied.

            A lot of credit goes to youth groups like 4-H for helping to build self confidence and how to care for others. May have been lucky getting a solid local group though.

          • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            Oh, it’s absolutely possible, but only after experiencing such abuse and isolation that you come to prefer your own company.

            The last straw for me came when I finally stood up to my so-called “best friend,” who acted perfectly sweet when we were alone, but who threw me under the bus whenever my bullies were around. Our families were (and sadly, still are) friends, so I’d known her since she was born and there was a lot of social pressure for us to hang out together. She abused me constantly and loved to fuck with my head. I figured that if that was the “best” friend I could have, then I didn’t need friends at all. One day on the bus home, shortly after she’d spread yet another rumor about me, I called her a traitor and a backstabber.

            She immediately turned to the bullies sitting behind us (whose hobbies included talking about me, stealing my stuff, and putting gum in my hair) and said, “That’s so funny! She just called me a traitor!” Yep, I was done.

            That was in my last year of middle school. Going into high school, I was resolved to not give a fuck what anybody said about me. I decided to stop trying to change myself to fit in. I embraced my own interests without a care what anybody would say.

            And that first year of high school was when I ended up making actual, real friends for the first time. People who actually get me. The payoff was huge and still benefits me today, but it came at a great cost during my most impressionable age.

    • dil@lemmy.zip
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      2 months ago

      he could be but hes gonna get roasted for sketchers til college probably

    • BorgDrone@feddit.nl
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      2 months ago

      But it’s not “his independence” if it wasn’t his choice to buy those shoes. You cannot be proud of your own choices when they weren’t your own choices.

      • NotNotMike@programming.dev
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        2 months ago

        That’s actually a really good point you’ve made here. It’s easy to defend the shoes as a parent because you’re the one who (1) understands the rationale behind buying them and (2) made the decision to buy them

        I wonder if a good decision in this scenario is to just give the child a shoe allowance and let them pick. If they want Nike’s they will have to find a pair that fits the budget

        • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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          2 months ago

          When I first got a girlfriend in highschool this one kid was teasing me for it so I flipped it and said “hey at least I have a girlfriend” I hit him so hard where it hurts that he actually never bullied me again and he actually tried to be my friend for a bit

      • arrow74@lemmy.zip
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        2 months ago

        I avoided bullying in school by being fucking oblivious. It was effective.

        Maybe that could be taught

      • oce 🐆@jlai.lu
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        2 months ago

        Being proud of your independence and difference is bad advice? What’s your world like then, submitting and following others?

        • Deceptichum@quokk.au
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          2 months ago

          Yeah let’s be proud of his independence by promoting him to make choices such as what shoes he wears.

          The kid wants something so he can practice the art of being social and fitting in. You are not enriching their lives by giving them the answer without letting them work it out and come to their own understanding.

  • rumba@lemmy.zip
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    2 months ago

    I got teased for my shoes. I got better shoes, I got teased for my jacket, I got a better jacket. So then they just made shit up to tease me about.

    I saw the fucker that bullied me relentlessly for all three years in middle school about 10 years later. He was pounding stakes in the ground setting up for a carnival. He stopped me in apologized which was kind of surprising. I gave him an absolutely hollow but convincing thanks and what about my day.

    I did a little light internet stalking, turns out he’s vocal that can’t keep a job, construction companies fire him for “no reason” and he’s now down to whatever local company will hire him for physical labor. The only truly sad part is he has multiple children with multiple women and will not own up to any of them.

    Though, I really suppose I owe a lot of who I am to the hell he put me through. Insults mean fuck all to me and I can ignore stress in a bad situation and make solid decisions.

    • TheRealKuni@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      My grade school bully is serving life in prison for attempted double homicide. IIRC he’s also a sex offender.

      Obviously the decisions he made as an adult are his responsibility, but honestly I feel bad for him. He didn’t have much of a chance. His home life was terrible, and he took it out on those around him. He had no positive role models in his daily life besides those at his school, who were always punishing him because he couldn’t conform to a world utterly foreign to his own where people weren’t constantly shitty to one another, and the school didn’t have any better idea how to handle him. The kid had no support. His father was in and out of jail/prison, his mother was overwhelmed. He fell through the cracks.

      It’s no surprise he turned out a piece of shit.

      That doesn’t excuse his actions. Plenty of people come from difficult origins and are good people leading decent lives.

      But I do pity him.

  • FireWire400@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I always had Chucks, not because I didn’t wanna get teased mind you I just thought they were cool. Kids teased me for different things anyway.

    But man, they never really lasted that long. One to one and a half years of daily use, and they doubled in price in the last ~15 years (which maybe isn’t that much but I feel the quality went down a bit).

    • jordanlund@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I remember being 4 or 5 back in the 70s, my mom tried to put me in Converse, I refused to wear them calling them “clown shoes”. LOL.

      I feel vindicated.

    • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I remember when high tops were in vogue. Granted, I hung out with kids in the “alternative music” scene, and Vans sponsored Warped Tour so much that “Vans Warped Tour” was just a normal term for us.

      • Omega@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        I love my chucks. I have about 10 pair I swap through. But when I was a kid, they didn’t fall apart. They just got dirty and ripped up. Worst case scenario the tops of the side rubber separated a bit or split.

        But now, they will completely come apart between the bottoms and the side rubber.

  • NABDad@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I always knew shoes weren’t going to save my kids from bullying, so I got them karate instead.

    The bullying still happened, until they decided it was time for it to stop. Then it stopped.

    • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I don’t have kids, but I do have a brother who is young enough to be my child, and I was very happy when he broke the nose of his bully.

      That motherfucker had to learn.

      • NABDad@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        There was some anxiety on my part when my middle child told me he punched his bully in the high school cafeteria. I had felt his punches through a heavy-duty punching shield, and I assumed it would lead to criminal or civil cases. However, when I asked if the bully was ok, he said he pulled the punch.

  • flop_leash_973@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    No matter if you end up getting him a pair or not. Be sure he understands that such things as bullying people for having the “wrong” shoes is shallow clique nonsense and he should be better than that.

    • Jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.ml
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      2 months ago

      That’s really not fair or helpful to the poor kid. It may be nonsense but it’s very real and has a very real impact on his life. Those little monsters truly will go out of their way to make him miserable and sad as it may be keeping a low profile and reducing the number of things they can pick on can be a way not to be targeted. The idea that of telling him he “should be better than that” is just adding to the burden he’s already carrying of being forced to coexist with those little sociopaths. Is it somehow his fault?

      • pleaaaaaze@lemmings.world
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        2 months ago

        It’s his fault if he start bullying other kids for wearing the wrong kind of shoes.

        Or even just going along with it