• latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 months ago

    I don’t care if this makes me a bad person, I get such immense satisfaction from this kind of emotional blowout. It’s so fulfilling to see bona fide narcissists fail then go hysterical about it❤️

  • Skanky@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    The correct reply is…

    “There’s really only one way you could have me, and that is [describe whatever sort of sexual kink you’re into]. After that, I might consider it.”

  • rekabis@lemmy.ca
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    3 months ago

    IME the vast majority of women have no clue how to react to being rejected, because it almost never happens to them. As such, nearly all react badly or maladaptively regardless of conditions.

    Conversely, for most men they have to endure rejection hundreds if not thousands of times before they strike it lucky. The small cohort that become maladaptive do so due to other social/societal reasons associated with the rejection, but vanishingly few react maladaptively purely because of the rejection.

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Tell that to the surprisingly large number of men who threaten fucking violence against a girl for not wanting to go out with them.

      I’m not saying you’re entirely wrong, but it’s not the only side of the story. Generally all people are really bad at handling emotions with other people, we need to make a stronger effort to turn these criticisms inward and figure out if our fears of other people are justified.

      • rekabis@lemmy.ca
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        3 months ago

        Our current western culture is one of violent misandry.

        Women are being released from almost all historical expectations and constraints, which is wonderful and good. This is actual progress in action, however lopsided and gender-supremacy-like it might be.

        Meanwhile, men are still constrained by all the historical expectations set out for them, yet have been completely stripped of all benefits that have traditionally accrued with those expectations being met. And yet, we are still being violently nailed to the wall - invariably by women ignoring and/or outright demeaning us - when we fail to meet those expectations.

        This massive asymmetry that men experience is what is creating subgroups of disaffected men. Because 1ncels don’t just leap out of the ground, fully formed – they are a direct response to the unintended consequences of women trying to eat their cake and to have it as well. Think about that next time women refuse to date down, or demand a “666 man”, or expect the man to pay on the first date, or any other archaic and gender-bigoted expectation.

        • CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works
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          3 months ago

          Any man who has had the misfortune of finding out she didn’t actually want him to open up to her when she said “you never let me in!” understands this double-standard.

        • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          While I agree with you, I don’t think it’s fair to characterize all of society as misandrist based on that. There’s a significant number of things that you’re ignoring or are not privy to, where women are harmed by men. The patriarchy isn’t just this fantasy that feminists made up, it’s a real thing, and while not as powerful as it used to be it still harms women substantially.

          I think it’s fairer to say that some parts of our culture are misandrist, some misogynist. And on the whole, women have it worse - but men also have it pretty bad.

    • rolling@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Bruh, who the fuck is being rejected “hundreds, if not thousands” times? Maybe some people are, but thats such a red flag that I would argue then maybe they should change their approach in the first place.

      Maybe you are exaggerating (it just makes you sound a bit like an incel, apologies), and I probably would argue men do get rejected more then woman, because men are still (mostly) expected to make the first move, but like you don’t need experience handling rejection to not have a violent rage fit.

      Edit: I have read another one of your replies down the chain, and uh yeah you definitely do sound a lot like an incel.

      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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        3 months ago

        Yea… I’m well into middle age and I’ve been rejected like a dozen or so times maybe. I’m not sure how you get rejected 100s or 1000s unless you’re just swinging at everyone in your vicinity that happens to have a vagina. Maybe try talking to them first and see if there’s some chemistry there before going for a date…

        • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I’m in my 30s and probably at over 100 rejections like, total in my life. I’ve never been looking for long term relationships so I do try with a larger number of women than most men. But like…hundreds of rejections between success? That’s absurd. You’d run out of women.

    • LotrOrc@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      You’re totally right there’s absolutely no evidence of a vast majority of women being physically attacked or assaulted after rejecting a man who couldn’t handle rejection…

      Also if you got a thousand rejections before getting one yes then that might be a huuuge reason to look at yourself and how you come across. Hundreds of thousands of rejections have to be because of the person themselves, not the hundreds or thousands of people rejecting them.

  • Xerxos@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    Well, the female friend basically said ‘I am so hot anyone I want (for example you) would love to have me as a girlfriend’.

    By denying that, he denied her self worth.

    Of course, her stance doesn’t take into account things like personal preference or matching personalities.

    • bollybing@lemmynsfw.com
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      3 months ago

      Or a less generous read: ‘you’re not attractive enough to get with anyone as hot as me so you couldn’t turn me down’.

          • DontMakeMoreBabies@lemm.ee
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            3 months ago

            ಠ_ಠ

            Borderline rape? Really?

            People say shit like this and I wonder how much meat space experience they have with… really, anything.

            Anyone else read “The Anxious Generation” yet?

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comBanned
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              3 months ago

              Borderline rape? Really?

              if you logically extend it into the future, where this would be an actual thing that actually happened, yes at some point it would become rape, it’s just not really a thing you should argue.

              People say shit like this and I wonder how much meat space experience they have with… really, anything.

              it doesn’t really matter, if you’re saying that you could have sex with anybody specifically one person, and that person doesn’t consent (which is a very real possibility) then at that point you would necessitate violating consent.

              It’s just not a healthy way to think about sex.

              Anyone else read “The Anxious Generation” yet?

              unfortunately not, i’m busy watching the downfall of the US society atm, so.

        • PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat
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          3 months ago

          You guys are SO FRICKIN’ WEIRD.

          I am extremely weird, man, I’m not trying to judge someone in any sense for being weird or asocial or whatever. But what sort of porn logic is this where someone’s opposite-sex friend is lightly flirting with him and the widely upvoted reactions range from “SHE’S AN EMOTIONAL TRAINWRECK RUN AWAY SHE DESERVES TO SUFFER” all the way to “FUCK HER, FUCK HER BRAINS OUT, SHE WANTS IT!”

          It’s not even clear that she likes him for real. Sometimes friends interact with each other. Jesus Christ man. This is a fairly normal type of human interaction, not anything advanced or sophisticated, and the majority Lemmy opinion is apparently just a big sperglord house of horrors.

          • x00z@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            Back in the good ol’ days we understood that the internet is all lies and only exists for porn.

          • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            3 months ago

            This is not a normal kind of human interaction, on the girl’s part.

            It very strongly indicates she is a spoiled brat, a narcissist.

            If you think this kind of interaction is normal… well I see two possible explanations:

            You are also a narcissist and that’s why you think this is normal.

            OR

            You are surrounded by narcissists who have gaslit you into thinking this is normal, and you haven’t had too many regular interactions with non narcissists.

            Also, I don’t see anywhere near as many total upvotes for ‘she’s into you dude, frost that cupcake!’ as I do for ‘this is the biggest red flag imaginable, let me write a short essay explaining why’

            In fact, yeah, I don’t see a single comment advocating the anon dive into her… affairs, over this.

          • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comBanned
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            3 months ago

            there’s no context, that’s the problem. Depending on their friendship this could be very normal, or it could be very weird, without any context this is batshit insane.

  • Omega@discuss.online
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    3 months ago

    I’m sure everyone has their own answer to this question but I would really like her to clarify, what do you mean ‘have me’?

  • ඞmir@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    So many comments giving OP advice on how to get into a relationship with the girl. Has a single person here, at all, considered that maybe, just maybe, OP genuinely didn’t want a relationship with this girl…?

    I also think deflecting with “nah you couldn’t” would be funny in the right context. Follow it with a joke about increasing her powerlevel first and you’re good