KingJalopy

I call dibs on green©

What do you mean original text message?

It’ll be nice to have smart people running things for a change. Relatively speaking…

Thank you! The second one you showed seems easier I’ll try that.

How do I use that? I’m not technologically dumb but I’m not a genius at it either but I def want to do this.

Matter of perspective. Ask halliburton how’s it going…

No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!

Which isn’t for everybody

Why I loved borderlands so much. Co-op was just better. My brother and I spent countless hours on those types of games

Majority rule don’t work in mental institutions

Most people ask if it hurts when I write. Decades ago I decided to basically write upside-down. I turn the paper the opposite direction you’re saying then curl my hand essentially pulling the pen. I fill out door hangers for my job and I hold them upside-down on my leg and fill them out. Customers often ask how the hell I do it lol. I’m like, necessity my friend.

My father in law has guns from 1800s that still function. I’m not a gun person at all but I am into my father in law liking me because I love his daughter and she loves his will lol. We’ve gone to the range to shoot them and they’re being left to me eventually in almost certain. I appreciate that something that old is still kicking around and will be mine out of some sense of love or whatever but I’ll prolly just sell them and use the money for my daughter’s college or whatever but I guess the point of this useless paragraph is they can last many lifetimes if properly cared for. He’s not a big gun guy either but they were passed down to him and are “collectors items” I guess.

As a lefty I can confidently say fuck all pens. The sharpie gel one I use is alright but ball points just don’t work for those of us who push the ball when we write instead of dragging it. It’s like every pen I use is out of ink.

If you wear the included depends

Captchad got them!

The onion can no longer create crazy ass fake headlines. Reality is more satirical than they tried to be.

I use jerboa. Works for me.

One owns the air, one pays to breathe

But don’t pull your dick out in a McDonald’s.

Trust me.

Destroy All Humans!