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Dude, just have oatmeal for breakfast and eat whatever the rest of the time.
Had a similar, but multiple factors smaller situation when I ate a bunch of celery and cheez whiz for a ‘snack’. Felt like I was shitting out a two by four.
I literally have to take metamucil daily to not shit liquid multiple times daily. It is baaaaad. But when my stomach has been super irritated for a while because I haven’t been keeping up with it that first properly fibered shit feels like a kitchen sponge running all the way through me. I feel so clean afterwards. I’m convinced it’s the only real “cleanse.”
Oh gods Thank you for this I haven’t laughed this hard in a while!
You should look up reviews for the Haribo sugar-free gummy bears.
And watch the video of that one dude with the perpetually backwards cap eating a full bag of them 😆
I can’t believe that guy is still active. Or alive.
Thank you. This is glorious!
Hahaha omg that’s hilarious. I hope he lived
He has a bunch more where he eats a cactus and a bunch of other weird crap.
The old stuff (decade+ old) is the good stuff
I watched this with my wife and we both cried laughing
jelli belli rat gummi
Oh I know them! Almost bought one to leave at my last day of work in the office 😂
Bro forgot to drink more water too
you don’t necessarily have to trink water, I eat mostly soup and am just fine because of this, even without drinking water
You know you’re just drinking spicy water when eating soup, right?
no I’m not drinking, I’m eating
- I like my water like I like my vitamins. CHEWABLE
I too love chewing ice.
But your tooth enamel certainly doesn’t :<
Oh, it can’t be that bad.
googles it
Oh fuck.
snow?
something something bottled water left in the sun something microplastics.
Water based cooking wins again.
Soup might do the trick, but stuff like coca cola definitely doesn’t.
People say that a terrible diet will make you die earlier and that doesn’t scare anybody. They should be telling that before dying there will be several years where you’ll need to use your hands to scoop the shit out of your ass.
Eat a diverse diet with lots of green vegetables. The fiber is good for you.
Eats sawdust every day, dies from impacted colon
That will get you insoluable fiber. Fruits and other veggies have soluable fiber.
The fact that bananas and avocado are being listed separate to "berries“ disproportionately angers me.
Don’t forget plenty of water.
plenty of water, indeed. it what makes the shit soft.
Instructions unclear. Tried to eat water.
Fiber is great, but in general, going from low to high fiber too quickly can do all kinds of gastrointestinal trouble, your microbiome has to adjust - and fiber supplements especially, if taken not as instructed, can indeed cause more severe complications like blockage.
If you don’t poop for several days even though you are eating, that needs to be looked at. Anon got lucky it resolved on its own with a nice story to tell.
also weirdly significantly increasing your fiber intake in a short time (going from 0 to 30g - 100% RDI - of psyllium husk for example) can actually cause diarrhoea
I read somewhere that there are actually two types of fiber, and they have different effects, but most food is only ever labelled “fiber” so idk.
Soluble vs. insoluble. But also fermenting vs. non-fermenting for both types. Psyllium husk powder is non-fermenting soluble fiber. Not drinking enough water with soluble fiber gives hard stools. But soluble fiber is “the good kind”. That super popular doctor recommended fiber-by-the-spoon is psyllium powder, all dressed up.
Whole psyllium husks are fun.
I swear last time I put a bunch in my shaker I shit things I never ate.
Had a similar experience when I ate fiber cereal as a kid, it was only one day of constipation though. I remember thinking I hadn’t pooped and that was weird, I woke up the next day, brushed my teeth and as I walked out of the bathroom I felt something DROP and went “OH GOD!” and ran back in and barely made it to the toilet. I was late for school that day.
‘my guts are yelling in German’ lmao
Moose in heat living in my belly.
Fake: anon tried to lose weight
Gay: anon had his ass destroyed by fiberyou can add two spaces at the end of a line to cause a new-line
like this:<space><space>
here starts a new lineI seem to have forgot to do that.
Why did I read your username as “wizard_poop” ?
What the Shakespearean green text is this…
How to pass the 3 day no poop challenge! And then some.
This was the funniest story I have ever had
Funniest story so far!
Well some weight was lost, at least
Nearly shat myself laughing
