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What agony tastes like. Every nerve in my entire mouth, screaming. The room, spinning. The air, ringing. Can’t think. Can’t move. Every beat of my heart shooting pain as the nerves re-stimulate. Sometimes I still feel echoes of the pain. It has been twenty years. Just smelling the blend of other seasonings commonly used reawakens the flashbacks. Some part of me is still in that restaurant, still suffering, even now…
I will never eat Thai food again.
For you, it was a life-altering event. For them, it was Tuesday
Fuck me. As a white dude I have to specify “Thai hot please”. They act like they’re gonna get sued.
Dropped by my fav Asian place in Tulsa one afternoon. “Can you make the Happy Family hot? It was really sweet last time. Hot? Really hot? Like, triple hot?” <holding up 3 fingers>
<unintelligible Asian from the kitchen>, “LOL! HOT! HOT!”>
Oh god. They’re going to punish the white guy.
Cook himself, who I had never seen, brings my plate. Motherfucker stands back a few steps to watch me devour.
<unintelligible Asian from the kitchen>, “LOL! HOT! HOT!”>
Cook comes back out, “Is the meal appropriate?”
Pouring sweat, hair standing on end, “Yes! Very good! VERY good! Thank you! PERFECT! THANK YOU!”
He takes a bow and returns to the kitchen.
<unintelligible Asian from the kitchen>, “LOL! HOT! HOT!”
I still remember that fine meal from 30-years ago. God speed you crazy Asian cooks!
I like spicy food now and then, I like spicy bbq and can take any Mexican you can throw at me. But Thai food scares me. Every time I try it, they ask how spicy I want it on a scale of 0 to 10, and I go “you know, I think I’ll take it easy today, I’ll go for a 4”. And then I get the bowl, first few slerps are pretty chill, but after a solid minute it out of nowhere turns into the spiciest thing I’ve ever fucking tasted, without fail. I’m simply not worthy of Thai food
I come across this post right after I ordered a spicy curry I’m gonna really enjoy lol
fun fact, birds don’t have the spice receptors so they’re unaffected, chillis are spicy to deter mammals from eating them. birds help to spread their seeds
after spicy curry
jokes on you, I have the blessing from the spice gods
lucky. when I was older it wasn’t so bad, but now…like boiling pitch.
Only mammals have capsaicin receptors. Birds be like: “Whatever. Tastes like fruit. May shit seeds everywhere. IDK. Maybe delete later.”
As a half Mexican, I remember the days when I used to think that my culture’s food was spicy. But these days jalapeños and serranos might as well be bell peppers, compared the dishes I’ve tried over the years. Mexicans don’t know what spice is.
“Some of these cats forgot what work IS!”
So what would you consider spicy now?
Not OP, but as someone who enjoys spicy, Indian food is beyond my level. The Xtra spicy Buldak ramen is right at about my limit of “pleasant/pain”.
I would consider a dish that is ordered “Thai Hot” at an authentic Thai restaurant to be a good minimum base level for spicy. Anything less is child’s play.
That’s what I’ve heard as well. Unfortunately not a lot of authentic Thai restaurants here in Estonia. Will be sure to try one when I see a promising place and have an evening I’m prepared to spend in agonizing pain.
“BLAAARG!!!”
It’s coming out of the wrong end tho
