Obviously I’m talking about two adults, I’m just wondering when it goes from okay to “a bit iffy”, either older or younger
If you have common interests and enjoy time together then there is no problem.
If you find yourself avoiding your partner and nothing in common, it light be a issue that you have to work hard on fixing.
My sister’s ex is my mom’s age (25 year age gap). They dated when she was in her late 20s. Honestly they had a great relationship and, while he was a bit “immature” for his age (financially), he was a really awesome dude and they had lots in common. The main reason it didn’t work out was because she wanted kids, and having kids with a man in his early 50s, who aleady had like a 20 year old kid, is difficult.
I think that’s what often causes issues in big age gap relationships, they’re often at different points of family/career development.
The flip side of this is that I met my uncle’s (61) girlfriend, who is, I believe, 25 or 26 and I did get the ick because she’s younger than two of his older children and has braces that make her look a lot younger than that. Most people thought she was a friend of his youngest kids (who are 19). She’s nice though I guess. And my uncle needs therapy, but that’s not necessarily related to this.
while he was a bit “immature” for his age (financially)
Ok this is now my favorite euphemism I’ve seen
Once you’re 30, as long as the other person is in your general age group or older, and the relationship works for both of you, your specific ages don’t matter.
I would say; don’t take other peoples opinion in mind. If you make eachother happy; you are good.
If your question is focusing on the reaction of the average person. I would say the average person walking past you on the street, will not raise their eyebrow unless one of the partners looks underage. Or if the 30 year old looks significantly older than 30.
I don’t think is that much the age (above 18 please) than the knowledge that you are not taking advantage of that person (or knowing that that person is not taking advantage of you though this is harder to notice).
If there’s a huge age gap you will get looks. But the looks of others are not that important as long as you know that what you are doing is right.
Are you taking advantage of the other person because of their age? If yes then don’t do it. If no, please continue.
I can attest to this. I had a 30 year-old friend who I got along with great when I was 19. We hung out all the time and got looks and odd comments when we went out. I knew he was interested, but I never budged and he never took advantage. We’re still great platonic friends to this day, 15ish years later.
I am 16 years younger than my other half.
Age is a number and people mature at different rates based on their life experiences and intelligence. I survived mental, physical, and sexual abuse as a child. I am also considered high intelligence… in elementary school I was ranked in the top 10 percentile of my age group based on standardized testing. In middle school all of my testing showed me at a minimal of college levels with some areas in graduate school. I had no friends and have literally had the crap beat out of me for no reason than I existed. I have also buried a child and a wife. I am more comfortable with an older woman because those my own age and younger are generally more self absorbed.
Stick to someone of the age of majority who makes you happy and isn’t abusive. The rest is your business and nobody else’s.
If they are both consenting adults and personalities don’t cause a toxic environment what does it matter.
I got a vivid image of two age gapped goons spilling toxic waste into a river while snickering to themselves. Definitely don’t do that. And definitely let me go grab my coffee as I’m still in dream mode.
6?
My wife and I are almost 10 years apart. We met right before her 30th birthday, I was also once the younger partner when I was 20 and my then-gf was 34. That failed for a number of reasons, but I don’t think age was one of them. With legal, consenting adults, whatever works for you is fine, I think.
Have your own list of cultural references, of they know them well, you’ll be ok.
I think life situation is probably more important than strictly age. If you’re an independent 30 year old working a full time job you probably don’t want to date a college student that lives with their parents.
Half your age +7 years. 30yo can date 22yo.
I don’t think a 20 year old should date a 17 year old though
I think the rule breaks down any time before ~21 (always round up). In general, if you’re over 18, don’t date someone under 18. If you’re both under 18 idk but probably don’t exceed a two year age gap.
If you’re 19-20, get fucked I guess.
The high school to college transition makes things complicated for reasons other than just ages.
America-centric. Other countries split the education path in different sections.
A 10 year old can only date 12 year old and older. I don’t make the rules
But the 12 year old can only date 13 year old and older, so the 10 year old is out of luck…
No dating before 14.
If they are looking to date younger, I’d say that 25 would probably be the realistic minimum, as that is the age by which the brain is fully developed. If a thirty year old is looking to date older, I don’t really see any real limit. Their brain is fully developed, and they’ve been an adult long enough that they can evaluate the pros and cons of the older person.
Iirc, it’s not that the brain finishes development at 25, but that the study this point comes from stopped following its subjects at age 25. A broader look at neuro-development seems to suggest that the brain never stops ‘maturing’. It’s not always improving tbc, but there also isn’t some definitive line that makes someone cerebraly adult.
Not sure what that means in regards to this thread, but I do feel it’s worth pointing out.
Half the older age plus 7.
Someone in their thirties shouldn’t be dating an undergrad or retiree. Anything in between is probably fine.
