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ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 9 days ago

DOJ Removes All Mentions Of Justice From Website

theonion.com

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DOJ Removes All Mentions Of Justice From Website

theonion.com

ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 9 days ago
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WASHINGTON—In the latest of a series of escalations in President Donald Trump’s highly publicized war on “woke,” the U.S. Department of Justice reportedly removed all mentions of justice from its website Friday. The purge follows a directive from the DOJ last week to roll back pro-justice programs and delete thousands of webpages that contained banned […]
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  • Floodedwomb@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    Department of Jeffrey (epstein)

  • w3dd1e@lemmy.zip
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    9 days ago

    Reminds me that Veep basically decided to end the show because headlines were starting to be more absurd than the jokes they were writing.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    9 days ago

    Department of Johnsons.

    Cuz they’re all dicks.

  • altphoto@lemmy.today
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    9 days ago

    Department of whatever J. Stands for in Trump J. D…wait whatever J stands for in JD!

  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    Ate the onion for about 5 seconds. Then I was like “…wait, what’s the source? …dammit!”

    • billwashere@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      Same here. I hate this time line. At some point TheOnion is going to have write real stories since we can’t tell the difference anymore.

      • tfm@europe.pub
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        9 days ago

        The next 3.5 years are going to be hard for the onion. It’s hard to create satire if every absurd story is reality.

  • Solano@piefed.social
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    8 days ago

    Injustice Department

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      Just… ICE

  • Part4@infosec.pub
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    9 days ago

    So now it is "The Department of ____________ "

    ___ = moment of silence

  • ObstreperousCanadian@lemmy.ca
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    9 days ago

    Department of Judginess

  • psycho_driver@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    The Onion manages to fool me again.

    • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      I don’t usually eat the onion but this one got me good.

  • tehmics@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    Parody is indistinguishable from reality

  • supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz
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    9 days ago

    Department Of Jugs

    • Lodespawn@aussie.zone
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      9 days ago

      Department of Jerks

      • Nougat@fedia.io
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        9 days ago

        Department of Jaundice

        • anomnom@sh.itjust.works
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          9 days ago

          That’s the Oval Office.

          • Nougat@fedia.io
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            9 days ago

            Ovaltine Office

        • boeman@lemmy.world
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          8 days ago

          Department of just ice

  • qfe0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    9 days ago

    Yeah I ate the onion on that headline.

    • Stepos Venzny@beehaw.org
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      9 days ago

      I thought it was another one of their Ctrl F removals where they unintentionally deleted a bunch of pages that used the word in other contexts.

    • Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone
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      9 days ago

      People keep saying The Onion can’t compete with reality anymore, but every week or two I keep biting.

      • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@reddthat.com
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        9 days ago

        Doesn’t that prove the point though? Even absurdist satire seems real because of how absurd reality has been.

        • Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone
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          9 days ago

          The Onion makes its best social commentary when it initially fools you into thinking it’s real. The point isn’t to be absurd or trick you, it’s to hold a mirror up and make you think.

  • ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com
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    9 days ago

    Might as well call it “Department of” because justice has no meaning anymore

    • Jay@lemmy.ca
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      9 days ago

      Just ICE.

    • theneverfox@pawb.social
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      9 days ago

      Justice was always fake. Justice is just consequences imposed by the state

      But I guess it was better than just ICE

      • Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world
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        9 days ago

        AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

        “So we can believe the big ones?”

        YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

        “They’re not the same at all!”

        YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME…SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

        “Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what’s the point—”

        MY POINT EXACTLY.

        One of my favorite scenes from Discworld. People make the mistake of treating justice and other such concepts as though they are an inherent part of existence and will spontaneously appear even when nobody chooses to uphold them. Justice is an ideal, one that does not exist in nature and cannot happen on its own. It must be upheld by those in power to exist, but what we have now is a pale shadow of the real thing held captive by the unjust and wielded with bad faith. Even those acting in our defense are being silenced or overridden by malicious actors higher up the chain.

        At some point we’ll need to act if we want that word to continue meaning anything. To use another Discworld quote, “THERE IS NO JUSTICE. THERE’S JUST US.”

    • oppy1984@lemdro.id
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      9 days ago

      I hear Ministry of Love is available.

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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        9 days ago

        Ministry of Truth (Social)

  • Wytch@lemmy.zip
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    9 days ago

    Call it what it is. The Department of Revenge

  • ieatpwns@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    The j stands for jorkin it

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