I’m still confused. I own my houses and cars. I’m still paying for one of my houses (the one my mum lives in) but it’s legally mine as long as I continue to pay the mortgage.

Amateur!

Raised on tea. Elixir of the gods. And the water in it is still water. I’m well hydrated.

Being Northern Irish, I was raised on tea and drink 8 to 10 cups a day. Can’t say I’ve ever noticed this. Where it is imbibed has no influence on the taste of it.

‘Expensive things’? Houses? Cars? Stocks? Businesses? Art? What are you thinking of here?

I’m British and have never said the first one you mentioned and don’t think I can recall hearing it. Nearly everyone one will use the second version - adver-tize-ment, although it’s most common to hear ad or ad-vert.

Savery is bad

I travel a lot for my job, maybe fifty different countries the past 5 or 6 years, and I’ve never seen toilet doors as silly and poorly-designed as US ones, except in places where they’re just making do with what they have.

America? America.

The rest of the world somehow manages to make doors the size of the frame that go pretty much to the floor.

That better be called the Lipstick or the Dog’s Cock.

If that’s a bin, just move it straight in there. Awful stuff.

Ignoring injustice anywhere is accepting injustice everywhere.

Wipe your feet on the way out.

I did once send a message to the childminder parents group that was meant for my wife. It referenced a porn movie series we watched, called Oil Overload, for which the new one had just come out. I think the message read something like ‘OIL OVERLOAD 14!!! YEEHA’. No one mentioned it, but I’m sure they knew.

3 circles doesn’t seem to have a handle, so easy choice.

There are a number of options for things you could dose such that it takes 2 to 7 days. Cyanide, Atropine (belladonna) Arsenic, Thallium.

How slow are you talking? Days? Weeks? months?

It’s got a 95% plus kill rate, I’d say, and I brush my floor two or three times daily anyway as I have kids and pets, so I don’t notice it.

On a slightly related note, I bought a bug-a-salt, a pump action shotgun you load with table salt to kill flies. Endless fun. Has a laser sight, too.

Ah, the fictional Chad, who is apparently any non-Incel male who has sex