I guess you could add some
sleep(1)
inbetweenNeeds to be a
sleep(3)
andsleep(5)
between the last ones just to add suspensesleep $(( 1 + $RANDOM % 5 ))
No it has to be controlled suspense.
Needs a 99% print too just before the 5 second sleep. Followed by a 99.9% and another 2 second sleep. Never print 100 and just run a traceroute in a loop.
Followed by a “we’re in” from the hacker as we’re made to believe he’s reading the console spam like he’s Neo from the matrix as he types faster and faster into an unresponsive terminal window.
This is Python. It’s already show enough.
Ooof starting the day with violence I see
“One troll a day keeps the intelligent people away”
That’s not python
It’s valid Python code though, the semicolons will run but are unnecessary
I am so perplexed and horrified. I’m going to need several weeks to get over this. What is this?!
What is this?!
Python
Blasphemy!
Yeah but it wasnt intended to be python
Maybe we should call the meme police then
On xav?
what about the sleeps between each print?
where’s the comments?
why isn’t it DRY?
3/10 code, PR rejected.
where’s the comments?
// this prints 80%
This is python
Python with semicolons? I mean I guess it’ll run but why
For the POWER of doing something UNNECESSARY because you CAN
For those who want a more convincing but still low-effort variant of this, use… https://hackertyper.net/
Press F11 in your browser to run it in fullscreen.
The Hollywood command is effortless and runs on terminal
You know hackers in the movies are very polite and care for their user. When they are hacking or wiping the disk they show proper progress. That is much better user experience than many corporate products. Be like hackers in the movie.
Ransomware has better tech support and customer service than your cell phone provider or ISP.
Their profits come from actual “customers”. They can’t just layoff half of their work force and use stock buybacks to make the line go up. Shit has to actually work.
Did he type the furiously on to the keyboard? No? Then it’s not hacking.
I have seen like 2 movies where the hacker just ran a script and danced around the room until the progress bar got to the top, then he hit a couple inputs and ran another script and went back to dancing. It was so surreal to see something so much closer to real than the feverish hammering in a keyboard.
ah yeah, I’m always dancing when hacking gov systems
There’s also The Core where the hacker says “yea, I can do it”, demands unlimited hot pockets and all of Xena Warrior Princess on VHS, then locks himself up in his room.,
have you seen who runs the fbi? this’ll probably work irl
But look how much effort he put into ricing his terminal this guy’s good.
It takes skill to hack such an organization using only printf
You’d be surprised how versatile that one thing is. Or, should I say, how much abuse it gets at ioccc…
Yeah, few people know that the FBI tells you the progress when hacking them.
“ChatGPT, write me a program to hack the FBI”
behind the scenes: youtube video of a python loop
I’ve been hacking the world this whole time!
what HP printers really do
In Soviet Russia, print() statement runs on printer.
not even a loop.
import sys import time from typing import Iterable, Callable, Any class ProgressSimulator: """ A class to simulate and display the progression of a hacking process, with unnecessary abstraction and complexity for dramatic effect. """ def __init__(self, description: str = "FBI"): self.description = description self.progress_steps = [0, 20, 40, 60, 80, 100] self.messages = [ f"Starting Hack...", *[f"Hacking {self.description} {step}%" for step in self.progress_steps], f"{self.description} Hacked Successfully" ] def generate_progress(self) -> Iterable[str]: """Generates the progress messages.""" for message in self.messages: yield message def display_progress(self, delay: float = 0.5) -> None: """Displays the progress messages with a delay.""" for message in self.generate_progress(): print(message) time.sleep(delay) def execute_hack(self, callback: Callable[[str], Any] = print) -> None: """Executes the hacking process with a callback for each step.""" for message in self.generate_progress(): callback(message) def create_hacking_sequence(description: str = "FBI") -> ProgressSimulator: """Factory function to create a hacking sequence.""" return ProgressSimulator(description) def main() -> None: """Main function to orchestrate the hacking simulation.""" hacking_sequence = create_hacking_sequence() hacking_sequence.display_progress() if __name__ == "__main__": main()
Enterprise grade 👌
“How many times are you going to run this, and how many in parallel?”
“Just once, and exactly one.”
“Better make a full OO class for it.”
I can do this in C in three lines.
Newlines mean nothing in c. You can literally write any program in three lines of c, if you don’t give a crap about readability.
Oup, don’t forget about those preprocessor directives.
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