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tfm@piefed.europe.pub to Programmer Humor@programming.devEnglish · 4 days ago

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tfm@piefed.europe.pub to Programmer Humor@programming.devEnglish · 4 days ago
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  • gigachad@piefed.social
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    4 days ago

    I guess you could add some sleep(1) inbetween

    • 9point6@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      Needs to be a sleep(3) and sleep(5) between the last ones just to add suspense

      • toynbee@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago
        sleep $(( 1 + $RANDOM % 5 ))
        
        • idunnololz@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          No it has to be controlled suspense.

      • wheezy@lemmy.ml
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        3 days ago

        Needs a 99% print too just before the 5 second sleep. Followed by a 99.9% and another 2 second sleep. Never print 100 and just run a traceroute in a loop.

        Followed by a “we’re in” from the hacker as we’re made to believe he’s reading the console spam like he’s Neo from the matrix as he types faster and faster into an unresponsive terminal window.

    • xav@programming.dev
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      4 days ago

      This is Python. It’s already show enough.

      • StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works
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        3 days ago

        Ooof starting the day with violence I see

        • xav@programming.dev
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          3 days ago

          “One troll a day keeps the intelligent people away”

      • gigachad@piefed.social
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        4 days ago

      • ripcord@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        That’s not python

        • gigachad@piefed.social
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          4 days ago

          It’s valid Python code though, the semicolons will run but are unnecessary

          • NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de
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            4 days ago

            demo of semicolons being allowed in Python

            I am so perplexed and horrified. I’m going to need several weeks to get over this. What is this?!

            • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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              3 days ago

              What is this?!

              Python

              • NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de
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                3 days ago

                Blasphemy!

          • ripcord@lemmy.world
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            3 days ago

            Yeah but it wasnt intended to be python

            • gigachad@piefed.social
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              3 days ago

              Maybe we should call the meme police then

              • ripcord@lemmy.world
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                3 days ago

                On xav?

  • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    what about the sleeps between each print?

    where’s the comments?

    why isn’t it DRY?

    3/10 code, PR rejected.

    • urandom@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      where’s the comments?

      // this prints 80%

      • TooManyFoods@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        This is python

        • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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          3 days ago

          Python with semicolons? I mean I guess it’ll run but why

          • TooManyFoods@lemmy.world
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            3 days ago

            For the POWER of doing something UNNECESSARY because you CAN

  • rbn@sopuli.xyz
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    4 days ago

    For those who want a more convincing but still low-effort variant of this, use… https://hackertyper.net/

    Press F11 in your browser to run it in fullscreen.

    • lemmyknow@lemmy.today
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      4 days ago

      The Hollywood command is effortless and runs on terminal

  • sorter_plainview@lemmy.today
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    4 days ago

    You know hackers in the movies are very polite and care for their user. When they are hacking or wiping the disk they show proper progress. That is much better user experience than many corporate products. Be like hackers in the movie.

    • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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      4 days ago

      Ransomware has better tech support and customer service than your cell phone provider or ISP.

      • wheezy@lemmy.ml
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        3 days ago

        Their profits come from actual “customers”. They can’t just layoff half of their work force and use stock buybacks to make the line go up. Shit has to actually work.

  • TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world
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    Did he type the furiously on to the keyboard? No? Then it’s not hacking.

    • Adalast@lemmy.world
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      I have seen like 2 movies where the hacker just ran a script and danced around the room until the progress bar got to the top, then he hit a couple inputs and ran another script and went back to dancing. It was so surreal to see something so much closer to real than the feverish hammering in a keyboard.

      • WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works
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        3 days ago

        ah yeah, I’m always dancing when hacking gov systems

      • Hoimo@ani.social
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        3 days ago

        There’s also The Core where the hacker says “yea, I can do it”, demands unlimited hot pockets and all of Xena Warrior Princess on VHS, then locks himself up in his room.,

    • Natanael@infosec.pub
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      3 days ago

      https://hackertyper.com/

  • katy ✨@piefed.blahaj.zone
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    3 days ago

    have you seen who runs the fbi? this’ll probably work irl

  • stupidcasey@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    But look how much effort he put into ricing his terminal this guy’s good.

  • Damage@feddit.it
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    4 days ago

    It takes skill to hack such an organization using only printf

    • noughtnaut@lemmy.world
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      You’d be surprised how versatile that one thing is. Or, should I say, how much abuse it gets at ioccc…

  • lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com
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    3 days ago

    Yeah, few people know that the FBI tells you the progress when hacking them.

  • PastafARRian@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 days ago

    “ChatGPT, write me a program to hack the FBI”

  • paulbg@programming.dev
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    4 days ago

    behind the scenes: youtube video of a python loop

  • kambusha@sh.itjust.works
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    4 days ago

    I’ve been hacking the world this whole time!

  • 𞋴𝛂𝛋𝛆@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    what HP printers really do

    • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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      4 days ago

      In Soviet Russia, print() statement runs on printer.

  • dumnezero@piefed.social
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    4 days ago

    not even a loop.

    • tfm@piefed.europe.pubOP
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      import sys
      import time
      from typing import Iterable, Callable, Any
      
      class ProgressSimulator:
          """
          A class to simulate and display the progression of a hacking process,
          with unnecessary abstraction and complexity for dramatic effect.
          """
      
          def __init__(self, description: str = "FBI"):
              self.description = description
              self.progress_steps = [0, 20, 40, 60, 80, 100]
              self.messages = [
                  f"Starting Hack...",
                  *[f"Hacking {self.description} {step}%" for step in self.progress_steps],
                  f"{self.description} Hacked Successfully"
              ]
      
          def generate_progress(self) -> Iterable[str]:
              """Generates the progress messages."""
              for message in self.messages:
                  yield message
      
          def display_progress(self, delay: float = 0.5) -> None:
              """Displays the progress messages with a delay."""
              for message in self.generate_progress():
                  print(message)
                  time.sleep(delay)
      
          def execute_hack(self, callback: Callable[[str], Any] = print) -> None:
              """Executes the hacking process with a callback for each step."""
              for message in self.generate_progress():
                  callback(message)
      
      def create_hacking_sequence(description: str = "FBI") -> ProgressSimulator:
          """Factory function to create a hacking sequence."""
          return ProgressSimulator(description)
      
      def main() -> None:
          """Main function to orchestrate the hacking simulation."""
          hacking_sequence = create_hacking_sequence()
          hacking_sequence.display_progress()
      
      if __name__ == "__main__":
          main()
      
      • orhtej2@eviltoast.org
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        4 days ago

        Enterprise grade 👌

        • yogsototh@programming.dev
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          4 days ago

          yep https://github.com/leo-aa88/HelloWorldEnterpriseEdition

      • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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        “How many times are you going to run this, and how many in parallel?”

        “Just once, and exactly one.”

        “Better make a full OO class for it.”

      • dumnezero@piefed.social
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        4 days ago

      • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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        4 days ago

        I can do this in C in three lines.

        • OfCourseNot@fedia.io
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          Newlines mean nothing in c. You can literally write any program in three lines of c, if you don’t give a crap about readability.

          • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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            3 days ago

            Oup, don’t forget about those preprocessor directives.

  • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
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    4 days ago

    deleted by creator

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