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ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 6 days ago

Report: Average American’s Retirement Plan Involves Richard Gere Falling For Them After Paying For Sex

theonion.com

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Report: Average American’s Retirement Plan Involves Richard Gere Falling For Them After Paying For Sex

theonion.com

ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 6 days ago
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WASHINGTON—Highlighting a growing wealth gap nationwide, the Pew Research Center published a report Wednesday that revealed the average American’s plan for retirement now involves Richard Gere falling for them after paying for sex. “Our findings suggest that the vast majority of people are now hinging their retirement on Mr. Gere spotting them on the street, […]
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  • dontbelievethis@sh.itjust.works
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    4 days ago

    If your fersona is a gerbil, you can live rent free in his ass.

  • RedSnt 👓♂️🖥️@feddit.dk
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    6 days ago

    Ah yes, a 35 year old movie reference.

    • ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one
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      6 days ago

      Prefect for our young readers.

  • Widdershins@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    Can I get my gerbil back?

  • tal@lemmy.today
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    6 days ago

    Richard Gere?

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Gere

    Richard Tiffany Gere (/ɡɪər/ GEER;[1][2] born August 31, 1949) is an American actor. He began appearing in films in the 1970s, playing a supporting role in Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) and a starring role in Days of Heaven (1978). Gere came to prominence with his role in the film American Gigolo (1980), which established him as a leading man and a sex symbol.

    Ah.

    • glimse@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Richard Gere is a fuckin baller. He’s banned from China because of his support for Tibet lol

    • salacious_coaster@infosec.pub
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      6 days ago

      OP is referencing Pretty Woman (1990), starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts.

      You damn kids, don’t know Richard Gere, get off my lawn, etc.

      • tal@lemmy.today
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        6 days ago

        I think I watched part of Pretty Woman at one point, lost interest, never finished it. Wouldn’t have known the names of anyone in it, though.

      • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        6 days ago

        Millenial version of this is basically Nathan Fillion.

        You might be able to kick me off your lawn (if you don’t go underwater on your mortgage!)…

        … but you can’t take the sky from me.

      • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        Indecent proposal, more likely.

        • AFK BRB Chocolate (CA version)@lemmy.ca
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          6 days ago

          Richard Gere isn’t in that. But he was in Pretty Woman, about a guy who hires a prostitute and falls in love with her.

          • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world
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            6 days ago

            Oh right, he isn’t. My bad. It would have been a better fit though.

  • 𞋴𝛂𝛋𝛆@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    Ah yes the Boom Boom Boomer Plan

    • altphoto@lemmy.today
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      6 days ago

      Man, I wish Richard would fall for me!

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