Mine have always been they just show up unannounced, take me to a conference room, and lay me off that day.
I got laid off literally less than 20 minutes after I finished everything that needed to be done for that quarter. They told me they were waiting for me to finish, and that they had lied to my face about finding me a new position when they closed up my office.
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The signs are often there. You know when they start finding time for you to do documentation, a layoff is coming.
I knew my layoff was coming because they let me do absolutely fucking nothing for six months.
I’m doing this one now mostly. Current company was just bought by a bigger company. All major projects have been stopped while we wait for the new bosses to show up and tell everyone what to do (then fire 2/3 of us).
I’m busy looking for my next job now. I have learned that any time there is any major acquisition or merger, get looking THE DAY it is announced. Do not wait, do not hope it will get better.
The management will let the news settle in, then after about a week or two, they’ll send some useless motivational email about how we should value our work, take pride in it, whatever. They’re just trying to keep everyone busy so that they won’t leave because the bosses will get a bonus if they can keep the place stable long enough to hand it over to new management. They let everyone believe that everything will be fine, no need to panic.
The rule is, when you start to see the faces of the new company, it’s fucking over. You have weeks/days left before you’re gone. They’ve already gone through the staff, they know the names, who’s worth keeping (very few), what they do, how much it will cost in lost productivity when they fire everyone off. They have consultants at the ready to come in and clean up the mess left behind after they sweep everyone out. Any hope that you’re a good person or that you know something that nobody else does and that’s useful is just wishful thinking. You represent an expense and they want those to go away. They will spend as little money on you as possible to make you go away. They will typically offer no severance or as little as possible (in the US). They will do what they can to fend off a potential lawsuit so you won’t have any grounds to sue once you’re cut. They’ll keep the people in other countries that actually have labor protection laws and drop all the US workers as fast as possible.
Never sit around hoping things will work out, they will not. Just dust off your resume and get at it.
Current company was just bought by a bigger company.
This is exactly what happened to me.
They will spend as little money on you as possible to make you go away.
I actually got a severance from my big company, first time I ever got anything for being let go. TBF it totaled about $100 less than what I would have gotten for unemployment benefits; this prevented me from qualifying for unemployment, but it did mean I didn’t have to pretend to be looking for work for six months to get the money.
In a sexy way?
Frankly, I’d have rather had this experience than what I actually had: nonchalantly walking to my boss’s office right before the office closed for Christmas while thinking he was going to wish me a happy holiday.
I got something similar, just the remote version. Was supposed to have 1:1 with one of the corporate officers (c-suite). He was there, but then, fucking HR lady joined. As soon as she got on, I knew what was up.
They whacked me and most of my team that day in the span of about an hour and a half. HR is a bunch of useless twats and their only value is to read the “you’re fired” script quickly.
“Huh. What’s this? A spur of the moment Teams meeting with some VP whose name I barely know? Ah. And there’s HR. So it’s THAT meeting.”
Things at my current job are an such a massive shit show already. I imagine that my only reaction to such a meeting would be a full throated laugh, “good luck!” And just drop the meeting.
same.
they wouldn’t be fucked forever, but they’d certainly feel the long cold shaft firmly forced up their urethra for at least a good six months.
That’s exactly how it happened at my previous job :(
I’m more like “took them long enough to finally find one thing”
*inhales cigarette* “what took you so long?”
Inhaling a cigarette sounds very unpleasant.
exhales cigarette Suit yourself bub
Same vibe as “chewing on a cigar”
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Wait, this doesn’t add up, who did you say it to? Why didn’t they back you up? Did you just say it to yourself? What?
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haha no way, ouch
Invite with HR Friday at 4pm.
My company always does them on Thursdays, which is when they run payroll and can cut them off cleanly without back pay owed.
It’s so rude that they wait until end of day/end of week. I’ve seen my boss do it multiple times, and it’s just like… If you know at 9am, then fire them at 9am. Don’t make them work one whole shift, undoubtedly worrying about this end-of-day meeting, before confirming they were right to be worried and firing them.
Edit: sorry, just to add - I’m sure you’re not being fired! Totally forgot that I was replying to this particular comment!
When your joke is so good that the HR folks want to hear it in person.
I got a message from my boss today asking me to come into the office (I’m nominally fully remote). It’s probably fine, but…
Reminds me of when I sent the return to office emails out to my team.
I apparently fumbled the wording so badly that one of my longtime friends/coworkers sent me a text asking if there’s going to be layoffs.
Me handing in my resignation letter so I’m one step ahead
🗿
If I’m layed off I get a huge settlement and a year of a good unemployement salary. Vacation time.
I told the head of HR to go fuck themselves for trying to fire me after interrupting me hustling trying to meet a deadline, to do some HR interview bs, and them refusing to leave after following me to my office. They’re worthless corpo cops and they contribute nothing to an employee. I was hired by the vp and challenged them to fire me and they backed down after talking to him. I don’t work there anymore after they laid off the entire engineering department and ran the company into the ground. It’s enjoyable to watch from the outside though
Wait, that’s a cardinal, am I reading pope vibes in this meme?
Had that today. Not HR. But my boss coming up telling me we have to talk and then also the highest IT guy wanting a meeting tomorrow…
Could be having you rat on coworkers