I’m just looking for something for home defense.
“Well you can’t go wrong with a battalion of T-55’s.”

Recipe: Add 1/4 cup of cheese.
Me: Adding 1 cup of cheese got it.

Let me off this blasted interstate you Maryland devils!

Control Z. I said CONTROL Z! What’s wrong with this paper!?

I once showed up 8 hours late for work. My boss wanted our team to have three eight hour shifts but he kept changing the start times and team members so much no one knew when anyone else was working unless they checked the schedule. When I showed up that day I realized I should have worked the previous shift, and another manager asked what I was still doing there. I picked up a clip board and told him I need to check some things. Basically I just stopped in front of various things, nodded slowly, then drew a picture. My boss saw me and said I was a shining example of what to do.

Honey addiction is real and tearing our communities apart.

What about Isukiri who casually took Jesus’s place on the cross?

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-little-known-legend-of-jesus-in-japan-165354242/

That one Viking who wanted ice for his mojito landing in Iceland: “…HEY!”

You’re 15! When are you gonna move out and get a job already!?

Even when I would do a lot of lessons early it would pester me later on in the day to practice more.

I thought canaries got carried into the mine as a punishment for the great canary uprising of 1742.

Shell shocked mosquito: There is a land lads, bristling with barbed wire so thick ye see not sun nor moon. Where ye go in to feed but may never return.

I say we divide the day into 100 sections. No reason really I just think it’d be cool to party until 100 o’clock.

Hey everyone, I’m wanted in 5 states for acorn smuggling.

This is why I’m so patient and calm when dealing with spoons.

Imagine him missing and shooting the inventor in the nards.

One of them appears to be married…or it’s the one ring.

GROND

In paint be sure to make a bunch of random lines and then use the fill bucket to fill in random colors in the spaces.

Guten Tag my homies!