I have a 16-year-old son. I’m in my early 30s (had him very young) and a professional footballer. My son also dreams of becoming a successful footballer (he’s been playing since he was 6), but he’s just… not great. He’s good, but not great - and in this extremely competitive industry you need to be at least great in order to even stand a chance. So I told him, as someone who’s been doing this for a very, very long time & is active in this sphere, that he should find another, more attainable dream. He took it as me not believing in him, but I’m just objective and realistic.
Being objective and realistic = Not believing in him Why can’t you be objective and realistic about your childs feelings, obviously, even if you are right and he’s no good (which I doubt if you are saying it), you could have just made the statistical argument, “Son, while football is your dream, the chances of being sustained by it are small and you need a reliable way to survive in the world.” Anything other than telling him YOU dont think HE can do it, and if you can’t accept that, then you need to put aside your ego and seek professional expertise.