Me when I’ve agreed to go to a party at my wife’s friend’s house. It’s always fun as hell, but by the time Saturday night rolls around I just want to sit and drink beer. So I agree ahead of time, dread it, have a blast, rinse and repeat.

Not as antisocial as some of you fuckers, but after I finally gained a modicum of popularity in college, fuck me I got sick of going out, fast. LOL, motherfuckers would be climbing in the windows. “What’s up man? You didn’t answer your door!”