It’s hard to say from such a distance, but it may be that he is good at sex and trustworthy. That’s enough a lot of the time. People make things too complicated.
Can confirm. Source: am short white guy, my ex is a truly statuesque black woman. Only way I know it’s not about me is because I don’t bother with Fallout past 2.
Well see, that’s a real mistake.
I can take or leave the others, but New Vegas is special. It has plenty of shortcomings, but it’s still the last good Fallout.
It’s an FPS. I’m totally uninterested in the gameplay.
Unless it can be played as a 2D turn-based strategy RPG, I’m not going to bother with it. If they made a Geneforge 6 and made it an FPS, I’d be just as turned off. I feel the same way about Might & Magic vs. Heroes of Might & Magic.
But fallout has this function for people without hand eye coordination i.e. RPG players where you hit V and then you can pick the body parts to aim at.
Still no interest. I want to see my avatar, my party, the enemy, and the terrain. I don’t want a ‘first-person’ camera.
It’s pretty clear after reading enough comments that you just aren’t interested in trying anything outside of your incredibly narrow selection of RTS and point and click games. That being said virtually every point you bring up is a non-issue with New Vegas because of the incredible mod library. Hell, I’m sure there’s a collection of mods to turn New Vegas into a top down RTS if you look. Just wanted to point out that bringing things up point by point will be an eternity because New Vegas is so customizable, you’ll save yourself time by just saying you don’t have interest in trying out new things you aren’t already experienced with.
what is he doing that I’m not?
Having self confidence about his passions and being willing to talk about them with someone who might get it the first time. Believe it or not a lot of women like to listen to guys gush about their passions.
In my experience: He’s emotionally available, interested in her and her experience, actually listening, gentle and honest.
I’m about the fattest, ugliest, loser nerd around and if I can be in a relationship with a succesful, beautiful, adventurous woman, so can anon.
I am sure it isn’t the case. The first part of the last sentence I mean.
Meh, I’m like really heavy, dangerously so even, and my many health problems (which don’t help with the physical attractiveness) originate from that. So no, I’m ugly and fat and in many, many regards I’m a loser. But I have other things going for me.
GF wants into this discussion, this is her words:
I wouldn’t call him the fattest, ugliest, looser nerd, but he is definitely fat and doesn’t conform to any classic ideal of male beauty. Instead, he is very gentle, loving and tender and makes me feel like a goddess. He also does what he said he would do: he is interested in me, not just because he has to ask, he actually wants to know what I think and feel. And he is not afraid to tell me his feelings, honest and vulnerable, even if they are actually embarrassing and he may even be ashamed of them. He wants to connect with me emotionally, honest and with his whole heart.
So I guess I’m making up for it with inner beauty and that’s precisely why I commented here:
I had already given up on love, I was a 40 years old, depressed, fat nerd with a career going nowhere. Really not physically attractive at all. I’ve been where so many of these Anons are. But through my significant other and the ones before her, I learned that you really don’t need to be tall, fit and conventionally attractive to find love.
“Just” respect your partner, be open, be honest, be gentle, be caring and be interested, really interested in what she thinks and does and feels.
For me the hardest part was lowering my defenses and being vulnerable with her, telling her even the things that I thought she would find unmanly or disgusting, everything I was and am still ashamed of. And sometimes it’s really hard to actually listen, to not just hear but listen, to not let her voice be drowned out in the multitude of voices from inside and outside your own head and things and media and events happening around you every day. I’ve really had to learn (and am still learning) to come to a calm focus and practice active listening. It’s not easy, but I do it because I love her, and she’s given me the mental stability and something to look forward to that has helped me start not only my weight loss journey, but also continue to work at becoming a better person, better listener and the man I want to be for her.
I’m far from perfect, I still mess things up, my weight loss progresses painfully slow, my mental health still has pretty bad days and I’ve fucked up listening again this week, just like last week. But I’ll be damned if I give up again. And she’s so incredibly supportive and appreciative, that I’m still wondering sometimes what the hell she sees in me and how I deserve someone so wonderful.
My wife played way more fallout than me. I didn’t even play New Vegas and she wrapped that shit like three times. Girls liking video games isn’t that abnormal, idk why all these gamer nerds have been lead to believe that video gaming is unilaterally a male hobby and that women who like games are unicorn levels of rare. Like at least a solid third of the girls I know are more into video games than I am. Given I’m no hardcore gamer, but this attitude is always silly to me.
I dated a woman much taller than me, and received an unnatural amount of glances at my crotch when we were out in public together.
People are so ridiculous.
Everyone thinks rules 1 and 2 are:
- Be attractive
- Dont be unattractive
But really they are:
- Be a nice person
- Dont be an asshole
But do not confuse being a nice person with being a ‘nice guy’.
huh i thought they were:
- be a nice person
- take showers
Attempting to avoid triggering negative feelings (e.g. disgust) in the people around you is part of #1.
That generally requires #2, but might not depending other actions and niche situations.
Being emotionally balanced and secure about something at all in your life goes a long way to building a character that other people want to be around.
If these terms are meaningless to you and you don’t get it, you’re not ready for dating.
You know I am honestly not so sure. I have seen people who definitely aren’t healthy, and probably not emotionally secure who get and sometimes keep relationships. It’s a lot more complex than you think. Some part of this is because obviously people with similar issues want to be together, but I think as well that things like physical attractiveness do have a role. It’s also the case that being a nice person and being emotionally stable aren’t actually the same thing, and often don’t go together. In fact to me it seems like people who have issues are actually less judgemental. Some of the worst people are those who have never struggled with anything.
It’s like how people have this concept that they either are or aren’t worthy of love. I don’t think that’s even a valid idea to begin with as there is no universal standard for what people want in a partner. Someone either wants you or they don’t, worthiness just isn’t a large factor.
Women actually like vg yo. I would know, i got my wife into them when we met (she hadn’t played games since she was a kid) and now, while i still take the crown in side-scrollin platformers and fighters? she whips my ass in shooters and it’s not actually close.
My wife destroys me in puzzle games, farm management sims and difficult platformers that make me rage like Spelunky. Any shooter however, she is a bit lost but she happily loots away and explores while I’m demolishing everything. It’s nice having a shared activity we can nerd out about.
When my GF beat me in Soul Caliber, I knew she was the one.
My wife would casually watch me play games until she saw me playing Rust with the bros. She shyly asked if I could build her a computer.
Brother I had been building, fixing, and overclocking PCs for like 20 years by that point, a few a month even. I slapped one together from spare parts and got her in the game.
She immediately used the fact that she is a girl to work her way into the good graces of other factions and made us friends I couldn’t have imagined. She would change her name and kill sleepers to make our enemies think they had been raided by other enemies. She would make friends with the resident assholes and then map out their base layout for us.
My group has people in it like a top 10k solo no-build Fortnite player, a guy who regularly airdisked people 300m away in Tribes, and two top World of Tanks NA players: we are a force to be reckoned with on any day. She was armed with nothing but kindness and help for good people, and wrath for those who wronged good people.
She fit right in.
what is he doing that I’m not
He’s not being a fucking stoner for one thing
First of all he wouldnt call a couple “mixed race” I supposse.
It really betrays a porn addiction when you compartmentalize people and couples by the races involved. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re some kind of nazi (but it IS 4-chan so there’s a strong chance) but there’s a huge amount of racism in society that’s just objectification and fetishization.
It’s okay to appreciate particular races or features or particular aesthetics in a partner, it’s not okay to get hung up on it or fixate on it or get lost in some kind of porn-fantasy for what kind of relationships you look for. It’s weird how hard it is for people to find balance and nuance on this topic.
This reminds me of a time I had people over when my roommates, who happened to be 2 very attractive girls, went out and just secomds after they left, a guy said “How come you get to live with 2 extremely hot girls?!” and I was like “Because I don’t say shit like that”. Wanna know the best part? His girlfriend was there.
i’m not sure what mentioning mixed race adds to the story.
It adds that OP is racist.
