Is it an April Fools?

Better get the next batch of H1 visas ready because the American education system just isn’t teaching the kids enough …

My cat really doesn’t like the sound of plastic bags at all

Any idea what book the notes were from?

Yes, it must be something like that. Similar to ersatz coffee where I believe the Nazis resorted to using acorns instead of coffee beans. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coffee_substitute

This article talks about the problems of sourcing rubber as a raw material and the solutions - https://historycrumbs.com/retreading-tires-the-armys-ingenious-solution-to-rubber-shortages/

A chief is the head of a tribe, it’s similar to the word general who’s head of an army.

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/chieftain

They look really smart, and with adjustable brightness too. I think good lamps make a room much more cosy in the evening.

What did you get?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johan_de_Witt#Death