I’m a single mom to a 13 year old teen and we live in a bad area. I work two jobs to pay the bills. I’m currently a barista and at night I’m a dancer/stripper at a nightclub. I haven’t really told him about my night job yet, since I’ve just played it off as being a waitress. I feel like he’s gotten kind of mature now, but I also am kind of scared he might judge me or it might affect our relationship.
Growing up, my mom owned a women’s lingerie store on the main commercial street in the heart of our neighborhood. My teachers and classmates bought their bras and panties from my mom, and everyone knew this. Obviously, this isn’t exactly the same as sex work, but I can tell you I was served well by the fact that I never grew up inheriting any awkwardness or discomfort. My mom was proud and unembarrassed of her work, so then so was I.
Live a truth you’re not ashamed of and share that truth with your kids at an age appropriate level. You don’t need to be graphic, but tell your kids you work at a club. Tell them you’re a stage performer. If they say, “do you strip?” You can say yes or you can say that stage performances are for an adult audience and you would rather not discuss the details. But if you acted ashamed, you’re giving your kid that shame.
As a parent, one of the most important things is that we be the kind of people we want them to be. If you want your kid to be brave/mindful/proud/kind/patient/etc. you gotta try and live it.