I’m a 42M, my wife is 37. We’ve got a great marriage, super happy, everything’s solid. About a year ago, we met this guy (36M) through some mutual friends, and over time he’s become really close to us. We hang out all the time, meals, weekends, trips, you name it. Lately there have been some running jokes about how we’re basically a throuple already, and those jokes have been getting a little more… not-jokey. For the record, I’m not into guys and neither is he. But honestly, the idea is kind of exciting in a weird way, and I really like having him around, he feels like a best friend at this point. My wife’s also open to it. So yeah… would it be totally nuts to actually explore this?
It’s easy to confuse friendship with deeper feelings, human connection is weird.
If you’re not romantically into him, you won’t be in a thruple, you’ll simply be sharing your partner with your friend.
Monagomy isn’t for everyone, and arguably polyamory isn’t for many people at all. I’ve seen a few of these work out but it requires very different mindsets and your mindset right now sounds like it’s on the sexual side (considering it exciting) instead of on the relationship/partnership side. Excitement is short lived, exercise caution.
Don’t ask the internet, talk frankly with all parties involved. Be aware that the relationship may already have expanded past monogamy non consensually.