My dad has recently been caught having an affair with his young personal assistant. Huge scandal; mom was very angry. Now they’re in the middle of divorce proceedings. Mom moved out, the other woman moved in and I chose to stay with him because we’re super close; he’s like my best friend. Now mom’s telling me to go and live with her and go no contact with him cause he’s a bad person and by continuing having a relationship with him I’m condoning his actions and “ignoring her suffering”. My relationship with my dad hasn’t changed, I don’t see why I should end it.
You staying with your dad, at least in your mom’s eyes, is you choosing the new chick over her also.
And if thats what you want to do, so be it. But you’re actively choosing another woman over your mother.
Think of it like this: Someone was caught doing x. X being any deplorable act you wanna fit in there. Let’s say being racist to the point of violence.
Said member of that race who you’ve hung out with comes to you, tells you what happened, and asks you not continue hanging with said person or else they’re going to deem you racist too.
Although you don’t have any racist views, and although that person has never been racist to you since your not that “undesirable” race, you continuing the relationship puts you in the racist category.
You could stop the relationship although it hurts. And in doing so you may even help the person learn the errors of thier ways, or atleast the consequences of their actions.
Or you can say nothing and allow the racist tyrad to continue.