Hello, my name is Doug and I’m addicted to Farm Merge Valley.
Am I the only one who jumped to the App Store to download “Farm Merge Valley” only to find nothing named that, while simultaneously realizing it was a joke?
Actually it does exist; it’s on Facebook and— how I and my friends discovered it— Discord, under Activities.
It’s actually kind of nice to just chill and play the stupid game while waiting for friends to join lobbies or between matches or if someone doesn’t really feel like playing but still wants to chat.
It’s also not my first Freemium rodeo (that would be Clash of Clans, and Simpsons Tapped Out, which I stopped playing eons ago), so I’m kind of more aware/mindful of how it’s trying to hook me with a wall to pay to go beyond, but instead of paying I’m just like “oh! that’s all I can do for now. Cool. Closing the game/time to go do something else!”
Hi Doug!
She’s just after your money, you made a huge mistake.
This is one I’m happy I can’t relate to. I was kinda over Bejeweled clones after Windows…3. Oof.
I found a free port of Civilization (unciv) on the phone and immediately lost like 3 hours. That shit is dangerous. There are better phone games, but there’s certainly a lot of slop.
That’s cool for sure. Homebrew and emulators aren’t part of the gross mobile entertainment ecosystem however, at least IMO.
The android port of Rollercoaster Tycoon is awesome. I play that while on my way to work and back.
Slay the Spire is on mobile.
I like how the artist made the controller read as female by slightly moving the d-pad and buttons to look like little bows.
The joystick eyes lend a very creepy Other Mother vibe to the controller.
But where is the sexy supermodel steamdeck hiding?
Consider the following: rooting
Evidence of human beings will just fuck anything lying close. Doesn’t need to be sexy. Doesn’t need to be horny. Just be together and fucks start naturally.
Filthy casual!
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Those controller-eyes are giving Steel Inquisitor
It me