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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 1 month ago

Came in under budget too.

lemmy.world

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Came in under budget too.

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 1 month ago
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  • Riskable@programming.dev
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    1 month ago

    Looks funny with a green hose and a yellow nozzle but a lot of bidet tools are just a spray nozzle on a (usually white-ish) hose. The nozzle is more of the kitchen sink variety but it’s really not that different.

    The real problem with this setup is the hose and nozzle are under the seat! No reason for that… Just keep it off to the side.

    TL;DR: This setup will work fine. Maybe use a light touch on that handle though 😉

    • Rooskie91@discuss.online
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      1 month ago

      A lot of people in the west are accustomed to the kind you install under your toilet seat, but I was surprised to see the kitchen sink thing everywhere when I was in SE Asia.

      • TurtleTourParty@midwest.social
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        1 month ago

        I prefer the kitchen sink ones. I’ve never accidentally gotten all wet from one of those like I have with the fancy toilet seat ones.

    • kambusha@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      I never understood how to use the nozzle bidets properly. What angle do you shoot from?

      • i_ben_fine@midwest.social
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        1 month ago

        Nobody shares their bidet secrets. It’s so hard to research before buying one.

        Anywho, I use my bidet in the shower.

      • PNW clouds@infosec.pub
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        1 month ago

        I have a handheld that I fill at the sink with warm or slightly cool water.

        I’ve got female parts so I angle from the front between my legs, so that everything flows front to back and then down.

        I change the angle and shift a bit to get the backend bits so it doesn’t splatter the front bits.

        The handheld bidet water stream is more like a water pick than a shower sprayer, so you can be pretty exact with this one.

      • Ephera@lemmy.mlBanned
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        • 𝕊𝕞𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕞 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕔@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          THESE ARE SECRETS BIDET USERS SHOULD NOT DISCLOSE

          (although I think I do the same lean to the left mainly because the hose is connected to the right side)

        • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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          1 month ago

          If you have balls, doesn’t the water drip onto your balls? Or down the inside of your legs?

          • Ephera@lemmy.mlBanned
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          • Dasus@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            I’d rather have slightly moist balls than a shitty ass tbh. And that’s why you have an arsetowel, to dry yourself off. That or spending a lot on paper.

            • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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              1 month ago

              Yes, but it would be ass water dripping on your balls.

              • Dasus@lemmy.world
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                1 month ago

                No it’s not. It’s the same water you get in the shower.

                The angle is such that the balls are only tangentially related to the business and may get wet because you gave the nozzle a bit too strong a squeeze and there’s generally spray everywhere anyway.

                You have a nozzle with unlimited water coming out of it. Even if it was directly shitwater, it won’t be after the first two seconds since the clean water has rinsed everything.

                But basically your arsehole is at the furthest edge anyway so usually there’s no need to towel or paperdry the balls or the taint at all, as the water comes in an angle that then doesn’t end up touching the balls.

              • YerbaYerba@lemm.ee
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                1 month ago

                You can pull them up and forward. Safely out of the spray zone and free from drips

          • Who knew?@sh.itjust.works
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            1 month ago

            it’s a bonus, if the balls got splashback on them or dipped into the water (happens to me quite often unfortunately) they can get a rinse.

  • Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.comBanned
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    • int_not_found@feddit.org
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      1 month ago

      Cheaper than the free nozzle and hose, that have been rotting in the back of the shed for the past 2 years? I don’t think so.

      • Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.comBanned
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  • modifier@lemmy.ca
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    1 month ago

    A real bidet is well worth a modest investment if you have the cash to spare, but this could work too.

    I would just suggest rubber-banding the sprayer into the “on” position and keeping a kink in the hose easily reachable in front of the toilet. That way, you can simply unkink the hose to spray and rekink it when you’re done. No need to reach down under the dirty bits just to activate it.

    • Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 month ago

      Kinky.

    • flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      That’s some peak landlord energy, I love it!

  • RangerJosey@lemmy.ml
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    1 month ago

    This isn’t efficiency. This is a fetish. Bro is power washing his lower intestines.

  • omgboom@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    If people don’t know already, bidets are fairly cheap and easy to setup. And they will pay for themselves quickly by not having to use nearly as much, or any, toilet paper. I highly recommend. We installed them on both of our bathrooms and it is such a quality of life improvement

    • VitoRobles@lemmy.today
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      I bought a cheap $30 bidet during the pandemic. It was an awful experience. Told everyone how overrated bidets were.

      Then last year, I decided to try again, but this was a top shelf fancy $300 bidet. My god, it was like night and day. My butthole never felt so pristine.

      If you hate bidets, look at the more higher end ones.

      • ace_of_based@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        By the by, pristine is commonly used to mean “perfect spotless/like new/cherry” but actually means more like untouched/never cleaned/left alone/original state.

        This fact brought to you by my ADHD! Byeeeeeeee!

        • devfuuu@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          The hero we needed.

      • Ephera@lemmy.mlBanned
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      • grue@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        I bought a cheap $30 bidet during the pandemic.

        Same, but I’m actually pretty happy with mine. 🤷

  • BallShapedMan@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    A pain in the ass, on use.

  • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Set the handle under the seat so it is pressure activated.

    • cdf12345@lemm.ee
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      I prefer to finish pooping before receiving a high velocity enema

      • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Sometimes it pushes it back up for another day or two.

        Why do you hate efficiency?

        • 𝕊𝕞𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕞 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕔@lemmy.world
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          I ain’t no expert, but I would rather have a normal poop release than a two-day-drier, rock hard, anus ripper

          • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            Those are my favorite.

            • 𝕊𝕞𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕞 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕔@lemmy.world
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              1 month ago

              Username does not check out (this time at least)

          • devfuuu@lemmy.world
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            Look at this person living the high life full of privileges where they can poop everyday regularly.

      • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
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        But if you wait until after you don’t even need an enema

  • jaschen@lemm.ee
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    In Taiwan, the older bathrooms have something similar to this but on the side. It has enough pressure to put out fires and please women.

    • Who knew?@sh.itjust.works
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      https://www.walmart.com/ip/Mainstays-Silver-Stainless-Steel-Handheld-Bidet-Sprayer-Set-for-Personal-Hygiene/5492494282?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&selectedOfferId=A7988F8E822636B5BF7E36251372780F&conditionGroupCode=1&gQT=1 I have one (not this model but it wasn’t much more) on my toilet and I can highly recommend it. Saves a lot of money on TP.

    • InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      I should start stressing out

  • Stupidmanager@lemmy.world
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    Ok, you poke fun but there are public bathrooms in Italy that have a hose and nozzle just like this near the toilet so you can rinse.

    • Who knew?@sh.itjust.works
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      it’s elite as fuck tbh compared to unwashed American buttholes

  • atro_city@fedia.io
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    1 month ago

    Spray that cooch!

  • disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    You can buy a shattaf (bidet sprayer) for like $20.

    • Slovene@feddit.nl
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      1 month ago

      Shattaf uck up.

  • altphoto@lemmy.today
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    1 month ago

    Followed instructions, now I speak in water.

  • fubarx@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Auto shutoff when you fall off.

    Solid design.

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