This is the kind of connection we need in an increasingly fractured and isolated world. Even if it ends up not being a distraction, just having someone available who listens is an immense help.
I have a panic attack at 11am and I need to cry until 3pm but after that I’m free.
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I would but odds are we’d just end up talking about how horrifying everything is. Real “don’t think about a pink elephant doing a Nazi salute” situation here.
But that is cathartic and sometimes that’s all we need, someone who complains with us without fear of being told not to.
Yep…
Anyone else feel like they’re great at making friends but then something gets in the way to just end it? Moral compasses, politics, work culture, religion, race, taboos, talking points, intellect, gender… Like all that has become so weaponized that it ruins conversations and friendships now. I feel like I’m too open and honest and willing to build love and trust that it puts people off.
I’ve found people don’t like when we (even unintentionally) expose the cracks in their worldview. Some of us just want to know what it all means, why we are here, etc.
Most people really don’t want to know those answers, and it can be very triggering to them (which is always transparent to them when it is happening otherwise healing traumas would be easy lol)
Right? I dwell and think heavily about the meaning of things, the reasons for injustices, philosophical flaws, historical events, the paths that got us to today, and general answers to things. I love deep dive conversations about just about anything from movies, to history, science and tech tech, or just general catching up. I’m up for anything and yearn to share or learn something new. Yet, I can’t count on my fingers and toes how often I get called “heavy” then shortly thereafter hear some major bias or hangup that effectively stops the conversation because that friend’s comfort or energy has waned. I assume my comfort level is just higher than average. Odd, considering I’m pretty introverted but can really open up once I’ve gotten to know you. I’ve been to therapy, faced a lot of adversity and abuse in life, and I’ve been to the brink more than once… Maybe fewer people have faced that or are willing to share than I thought. I sometimes think it is me but anymore I wonder if maybe it’s the culture. The US definitely has a friendship pandemic and the reasons for that weigh heavily on me. Culture in the US has become so isolated and xenophobic. What are we to do when everyone is becoming lone wolves that refuse to be apart of a community or something real?
Edited for context and sentence structure.
Sorry to hear about yours, but I am also one that has been through much adversity and abuse (and healing). Most of us that have been through it, and worked through it, can’t talk about it enough because we want to help others figure things out quicker.
I’m in the U.S. too, and a far left person in a far right state/county/town to boot. But, I’m at least close to a metro area that is much more diverse. I personally don’t even need much social interaction these days, I’m fine with myself, my wife, and our cats. However, she still needs people, so we do our best to find the other people like us. We realized we are more likely to be in libraries, independent coffee shops, book stores, and museums, rather than bars, sporting events, etc. So, we try to spend more time at places where we are more likely to meet people like us.
My wife and I are in very similar circumstances. We do try but I will admit it’s become so easy to be a homebody. We’ve had some health scares this past few years and been focusing on that. We’ve finally been getting out more again and trying to branch out and make good friendships. I’ll definitely take some of your suggestions.
I’m sorry to hear about the health issues, but glad to hear that you and the wife have been getting out more! Yes, it does seem to get easier and easier to become a homebody lol. Good luck to both of you in finding some good connections with good people!
