Something might be wrong. The might is really important. Try to give tgem s chance/situation to open up if there is something troubling them. Sometimes the first sentence of telling someone is tge most difficult.

Dark humor is a coping mechanism. It’s a positive thing, I believe. As for what she is coping with - who knows?

Maybe she is struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. Maybe it’s an awareness of the meaninglessness of life. Maybe she has had to adapt to working or living in close contact with mortality: exposure to war, working in healthcare, etc…

I think the most important part is that she is coping.

In the absence of other signs that she might be in danger or is acting out of character, I would not be concerned.

I’ll throw out a “fucking kill me” or an “I’d rather be dead” now and again, but I’ve never contemplated suicide. Context is key. I won’t say something like that around a truly bad situation, but if I get a paper cut, I may suggest that taking my life is a better situation. I don’t do it often and it’s only around people that know me well enough to know that I have a dark sense of humor and that I’m not serious.

you post title is a question, and your post ends with a different question, which one do you want answered?

No. I do it all the time and it’s just over exaggerating that I’m exhausted or frustrated.

You’re being naive. You’re probably not realising how common and well concealed depression is. Then when you see signs you’ve written it off as dark humour that can’t be legitimate feelings because their mask looks happy.

When a coworker was doing the same I had a chat with him, starting the conversation about another friend of mine who had recently attempted suicide and how it was hard for me getting up at 2am to his partner calling me driving to his house and talking him down getting him help and how tired I was. My coworker opened up and told me he had nearly been on the edge too. Completely invisible to everyone at work.

People try to normalise the thoughts that go through their head. Cope with humour and hide with acting normality and energy.

People struggle. Almost everyone goes through depression at some time in their life. You’ll work with people who contemplate suicide and walk by unknowingly everyday.

Whatever you do, please avoid calling the authorities on them. Its gonna do more harm than good.

Especially if they are a non-citizen, they could face deportation proceedings for having mental health issues.

Particularly in the US, but may also apply in other countries depending on how xenophobic the country is and how much of a bastard the cops are in the jurisdiction.

Speaking from personal experience, that person is very likely depressed AF. The bubbly person you see at work is her putting on a brave face to get through the day without making things worse by putting people off in showing her real self. The “jokes” are a subconscious attempt to see if anyone actually cares enough about her as a person to pick up on the hints she’s dropping. If you approach her about it directly, tho, she’ll put up a wall because she doesn’t know your true intent - do you actually care, or are you gonna make her life worse by doing something like trying to have her committed?

If you truly care enough to get involved, and try to help her then doing it well is going to require some commitment to subtle and supportive interactions. You can try to privately let her know that you’ve picked up on the hints, that you get it, and that she can come to you for support if and when she’s comfortable with doing so. You likely will have to give her space and time to figure out if she can really trust you while also occasionally (i.e. don’t push it or otherwise overdo it - let her be in control) reminding her that you care and were serious about the offer of support.

If that’s more than you’re up for, then maybe just let her know you’ve noticed so she doesn’t feel completely ignored, and offer to help her find mental health options to deal with her depression.

At least this is what I’d want as somebody who has lived through several decades of inadequately treated depression. I, too, am a sincere, straightforward person who likes to help, and find living in a world full of people who routinely aren’t so honest (even or especially with themselves) extremely depressing and difficult to deal with.

It’s not simple. The only real way I have to know if it’s a problem is to react based on whether the jokes are funny or not.

Example: When my life is being literally ruined, I don’t joke about suicide, I joke about how much fun I’m having. When I get a loose eyelash stuck under my eyelid though it’s right to “Jesus fuck just kill me please”.

Joking about suicide is a red flag. As in an indication that something might be wrong. It can indicate that suicide is something that’s on their mind often.

I would avoid these jokes in a professional setting because loosing someone to suicide is common and you’re likely to crack a joke in front of someone who will not appreciate it.

I wouldn’t assume anything with only this information. Jokes about death and suicide aren’t uncommon and we don’t know how they mean it. However it doesn’t hurt to ask them and give them the opportunity to share their pain and sad songs with you.

I find it useful to crack jokes like that when in rough places; the half-kidding kind, even just to myself. It depends because everyone’s different. Never a bad idea to take a moment and question it occasionally though…

death no, suicide maybe