I am happy that I can love my wife and my children dearly. However, the flipside of this is whenever any of them show any signs of getting sick I get extremely worried. I simply do not want anything bad to happen to them, and am worried to go to a doctor too late. My gut instinct is to go to the emergency room for every small issue, but I consciousely understand that this is not a logical response.
Do any of you have suggestions on how I can figure out what an appropriate response to different types of sickness symptoms would be?
I don’t have any advice, but I just wanna say, I just think you are a lovely person that cares about family. I wish my parents even cared half as much 😞
Take a first aid + CPR class. You can get them that cover everything in as little as 4 hours, but try to get a longer one since they go more in depth. They cover most of the common situations and so will make you calmer when it happens because you had a couple drills. Even if you don’t remember the details you will remember something - and when you call the emergency number it will come back what you are supposed to do making it easier for them to explain it.
Everybody should take first aid and CPR classes every few years. Ideally keep your certification up to date, but even if you certification is 20 years out of date, when you need it you will have a clue and so be a lot more helpful.
I don’t know how is your country situation. Over here it is said “don’t go to emergency room unless you have an actual emergency”. Triage will make you wait for longer than an actual doctor appointment in a uncomfortable room full of sick people, not the place you want to be when you have a small disease.
Also emergency room doctors are trained more in stabilizing emergencies. For small diseases you’ll get better diagnosis and treatment in a general doctor.
I would advise in learning what constitutes an emergency or not and act accordingly.
Yeah, ER is almost never the right place. But if you do go to an ER, make sure it’s attached to a hospital. The free standing ones are notorious for predatory billing and will take your first born after saving them. And your insurance will fight to not cover it.
Urgent care and minute-clinic type things can be good. Primary care physicians are typically best, though they may be difficult to get an appointment for.
I’d say you’re doing alright. When in doubt go to emergencies and let the doctors and medical professionals decide if they send you home, unless you’re in America and this would bankrupt you that is. Better to be safe than sorry, specially with your kids.
Have you tried talking to your own parents/older family members? They’ve seen most of the common problems and can give you reasonable answers.
Sign up for a first aid for children course. The best way to manage these feelings and fears is to be prepared to manage them directly. If you learn some first aid then you’ll be able to manage a lot of problems yourself and know when you can’t and need help.
Knowledge is power
My wife was just making fun of me yesterday to my doctor sister in law for that one time we were camping in Germany and I went all fast and furious and parked in front of the emergency gate of the hospital when my son got stung by a bee in the neck. I try to reason myself but that day my primal instinct kicked in stronger than I could ignore.
[Not a doctor, take with a grain of salt] This is the only reaction I would consider appropriate in that situation. Bees kill lots of people, you don’t know if you’re allergic until one has stung you, and anaphylaxis acts extremely fast, specially in the neck so close to the airways.
Depending on your location and situation, you may have access to a nurse line or fast telemedicine (basically a zoom call with a random doctor). They can diagnose many ailments remotely, and at least tell you what the next steps should be.
This is a very common response for new fathers. I went through, and you just start to look for the signs and learn how to adjust. I remember for my youngest, we took her to the emergency room once, and they ended up simply upping her Tylenol dose from 5 ml to 7.5 ml because she grew so much. Keep being engaged with them, and you’ll be fine. Through this all, just remember to take care of yourself as that will creep up on you.
Same same, when my daughter was about 3 had blood in her stool, that time we took her to the hospital and she spent some days there with my wife. It was nothing, never happened again.
Another time she started screaming and said she had pain in her stomach, it was one of those scary screams when you know something is wrong, I was driving as fast as possible but encountered traffic and heard her laugh on the backseat. I guess it was just gas or something, we went back home.
And finally she fell playing in a floor fountain and opened her chin, the wound bled a lot and we took her to emergency, while waiting she forgot she was injured and started playing and jumping while waiting.
What I wanted to share with these stories is: humans are delicate but resilient. What OP is feeling is normal and I had exactly the same doubts. But with time you get the experience and you start “know” when something is wrong.
