No matter how silly they say something sounds, or the date. I will automatically assume someone is being serious unless they say it’s a joke after saying it because if it isn’t a joke and I take it as a joke that could be harmful. I’ve been bedbound due to CFS for the last 7 years so I don’t have a good idea of what is normal and what is not anymore.
I’m not neurodivergent no.
Source?
What’s normal is that you had a traumatic experience, then internalized a Survival Rule to avoid repeating the behavior that led to the trauma. Depending on your age when the original incident happened, the Survival Rule might sit very deep, causing you to follow it even without thinking and without knowing why.
All that is normal: expected, sensible, reasonable.
The rule itself might no longer be needed. Can you imagine a situation in which it would be perfectly fine to interpret as a joke something that someone says without specifying it as a joke? Can you imagine three? Ten?
Not exactly neurotypical behavior, particularly if it’s all the time. Working with the neurodivergent community, difficulty sensing jokes and sarcasm is something I see a lot. Just worked with a child who was pretty distraught with all the April fools jokes going on with their peers and not being able to tell what’s real or not
Not neurodivergent. See the longish reply I posted above for context.
Not saying you ARE definitely neurodivergent, but difficulty with jokes and sarcasm to the extent you’re describing is not neurotypical behavior. Basically, no, the behavior is not normal, it’s atypical.
Regarding your longer comment, having rigid, unconventional, self-made rules is another behavior I see in a lot of the neurodivergent individuals I work with. Again, not saying you definitely are neurodivergent, but these are not neurotypical behaviors
The reason the rule is rigid is so I can avoid getting hurt. I don’t want to delve too deeply into my psychiatric history but let’s just say I have a ton of anxiety and instability in my world views relating to being shamed by my family in the past for doing the “wrong” thing, and them reacting in a way that is wildly disproportionate to what I did wrong (I once had a family member give me death threats for forgetting to turn a lamp off, for example). Doctors have said I may have BPD.
You asked if it’s normal behavior, several people have answered that it’s not neuro typical, and you’ve gotten very defensive over that. I’m not sure what you’re expecting to hear at this point, but you’ve gotten your answer, whether you accept it or not.
That’s what I thought for almost 40 years. Turns out I’m divergent as fuck.
No, there’s also tone of voice, wording, facial expressions, smile/laugh and gestures indicating a joke. Also, once one person joked it can be followed up by more jokes, like a session.
See my comment above, I explain the context for this.
I’m not sure I’m understanding what you’re saying.
Are you saying you’re having trouble with dry & sarcastic humor or are you saying the events of the days we’re living in are so farcical that you’re having difficulty determining truth from fictional statements someone says to you?
If you’re able to get “it’s a joke” from body language or verbal clues, then your last sentence probably explains it. Otherwise… have you considered you might be a bit neurodivergent?
Not neurodivergent no.
I remember many years ago my mom said not to do something on April Fool’s Day, and she was pranking me the day before that and also the day before that. She has a very dry sense of humor. The reason to not do that something seemed very silly and like the setup of a joke especially given the context. So I ended up doing the thing and my mom got pissed at me for it, calling me stupid and shamed me. I told my mom it’s April 1st, and she asked me why I assumed it was a joke, because she didn’t say it was a joke.
So, in order to avoid stuff like that again, I’ve implemented a kind of policy in my head where I must automatically assume someone is being completely serious unless they tell me right after that what they just said is a joke.
