My wife and I are going to a concert in a few months which is considered ‘girl pop’ and we have standing tickets. I wanted to get a look at what a show by this artist is like, so I search YouTube just to find it’s a bunch of young adult woman screaming anytime something is done like a dance move as an example, but this just isn’t me.
I have a worry that someone is going to start filming me for being ‘grumpy’ or whatever, usually I wouldn’t think this much into it, but I’m already going to be sticking out like a sore thumb and in the current year I always assume I’m in the background of someone’s video at any given moment and I don’t want my awkwardness being confused for anything else other than what it is.
Am I in over my head, or should I just not overthink it and try to enjoy myself?
I went to a local band performance where the median age of the audience was around 14, with me as a 40 year old in attendance. I felt self conscious for about 2 minutes until the show started. Then I didn’t care anymore.
Banger show. I’m glad I went.
You do you, dude. Don’t worry about what others might think about your attendance. Vote with your dollar. Spend it on stuff you want to enjoy.
You are overthinking it. No one cares. Just do what you have to do.
The people who judge will be out of sight in a few hours but the regret of not going will be with you till you die.
Take an edible and have a good time. No one cares.
What band / singer?
Jade Thirlwall, former member of little mix
You must really love your wife haha. Seriously, try to enjoy the concert. You’re already going, so you might as well try to enjoy yourself.
Wrong answers only
Twice
Feminazgul
BTS
While you’re there, you’ll probably see someone twice as out of place as you, and immediately forget about them.
just be free to go, who cares – as long as you can enjoy it, nobody’s harmed. So go and have fun with your wife!
I went to a Jonas Brothers concert with my wife a few years ago and I had this same worry. I went, was overwhelmed by how much my ears hurt from how loud the entire crowd of women screaming was, and ended up enjoying the performance, even if I feel like I was sticking out for now being that excited.
There was some solace in seeing other dudes in the crowd, probably feeling exactly like I was
Just go, dude, like if the “girls” in the band weren’t hitting their 30’s
Just go mate. I’m often the only guy in my pilates class.
Own it or stay home. By owning it, I mean just enjoy yourself & I guarantee all is good. I can’t say the same about the demographics of the fan base. People are people and just do your best, don’t assume anything , be kind & direct when speaking & just present the best you.
Don’t let your perception of femininity and masculinity stop you. Don’t let your expectation of other people’s perception of femininity and masculinity stop you. It’s all made up.
Having said that, you don’t have to force yourself to enjoy something you don’t enjoy. However, if you do decide to go, I would recommend to embrace it and try to find enjoyable aspects to the experience.
Ninja edit: I agree that being filmed at a concert isn’t always nice. Especially because many people seem unaware that not everybody wants to be filmed.I agree with all of this. The post is one of those many you come across and think “wow heteronormativity really makes people scared of the most normal things”. But I get it, no judgement of course, it’s society that needs a rewrite
I think It’s because I don’t really see myself as either, I struggle with both. I know it’s all made up, but it’s all I ever see people talk about online and that could be anyone you walk past, I mean not everybody is chronically online as others, but they still have their views.
Just the other day, some kids lost their ball in a tree, so I go over to try and help (unsuccessfully) and then a man of similar Age and height just comes over and climbs into the tree in front of these kids, and I’m just standing there looking up with them, I felt like a lesser man at that moment, and it was pointed out to me once that I seem to seek the validation of woman for some reason.
Sorry, didn’t mean to get deep, but your comment got me thinking haha
A lesser man wouldn’t have tried to help in the first place.
damn that sucks :/
i wouldn’t bother to much asking about manliness around these parts, if it was all just made up as they say they wouldn’t care when i call them the wrong pronouns since that’s just made up as well
turns out things that are “just made up” still matter
but you’ve got a whole real life wife so that counts for a bundle👍
Just because it’s a construct doesn’t mean some people can’t have preferred pronouns that they would like to have respected.
You’re going with your get-out-of-jail card wife
They would never film you if they think you’re grumpy, because they’re hired by the venue, the labels and artists, and it would be considered bad PR for them.
The cameras ususually only catch the front rows anyways, and the concert is way different and more relaxed when you arent in the mosh pit.
You’re also going there to enjoy it, in contrast to the parents that just go there because of their children, that will likely look way more grumpy than you.
I just reached my mid-40s, and at the same time, I realized that I have been overthinking everything. Nobody cares, and those that do, you shouldn’t care about. Too many missed opportunities because I thought it worried too much and did too little. I think my new outlook may have been influenced by the ever increasing deaths of people around me. Time keeps speeding up, I’ll be dead soon. So will everyone. Do whatever you want, be nice to people, it’ll all be over too soon.
If you’re taller, always make sure there aren’t any shorter people behind you. If you’re having fun, smile, move a little, enjoy the atmosphere. You’ve got nothing to worry about and have a great time!
im 6’5, better opt for a hack saw before the show i guess.
Hah, just be aware and courteous and it really won’t matter.
