If you tell them what you’re going to do, they’ll think you’re lying, thus ensuring the perfect opportunity to strike. Reverse psychology baby, it always works!

spirits secretary only signals his intent

spirits secretary knows discussions are over the bar

I discuss my war plans on Stack Exchange

One positive, I guess, is that it’s the first work text chain that anyone was grateful to be included in. Man, what if he replied in another language? Something brown. Merp