• Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
    451·
    10 days ago

    Doesn’t sound like a loser. Sounds like someone that just needs to ask again tomorrow and maybe moods will be more aligned.

    • SitD@lemy.lol
      31·
      10 days ago

      bro the problem is tomorrow’s dream is probably a ww1 trench again, you don’t get to pick the nice ones 😂

    • ameancow@lemmy.worldEnglish
      121·
      9 days ago

      It’s not about “her” because “she” doesn’t exist.

      This is about self-esteem, not sex or consent. It’s not even about his dream, because plenty of people have dreams where they don’t get what they want. It’s about how he views himself. I’m confused how this post is like, 3-dozen comments about consent and relationships when it’s one kid viewing himself through… himself.

      • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
        2·
        9 days ago

        Oh yeah, that’s an interesting take. I think it depends on how much you believe dreams represent our subconscious. I believe there is a lot of randomness in dreams and that who you are in dreams is not necessarily who you are. However, you can definitely choose how to frame your recalled dreams in waking life and that’s what I was suggesting.

        • ameancow@lemmy.worldEnglish
          3·
          8 days ago

          Dreams may or may not have anything to do with reality, but how you interpret your own dreams upon waking is absolutely grounded in the reality of your own mental state. A lot of people have dreams like this where they want to do the thing that’s fun but something gets in the way and we go “haha wild that dreams are always like that” and we don’t dwell on it.

          If you’re mentally unhealthy, have wrecked self-esteem, or battling depression, anxiety, other issues, you’re probably going to find a lot more meaning from very small things than someone healthier. These kinds of things are a wake-up-call that you need better self-care, and that can include just learning to not ruminate on your feelings.

  • ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    28·
    10 days ago

    I had a dream once in which an ex-girlfriend from years ago who I was still in love with appeared and told me that I would never have her back so I should stop being so obsessed with her. Good advice, perhaps, but not what I feel I deserve in my own dreams…

    Now that I think about it, I realize that I can’t remember ever having sex in a dream. So much for dreams as wish fulfillment.

  • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
    8·
    9 days ago

    There is the theory that dreams are simulations to prepare you for stressful situations. Being exposed to rejection in simulation helps to not react… poorly irl.

    • Cris@lemmy.worldEnglish
      541·
      10 days ago

      Men often struggle with isolation, poor self esteem, and mental health issues, telling them they deserve their misery and loneliness only feeds the hateful behaviour you take issue with.

      It’s currently men’s mental health awareness month. We can do better than antagonizing the mentally ill, isolated and suffering for our own emotional gratification at their expense. Its actively counterproductive to fixing the societal issues their toxicity creates, and its also needlessly cruel.

      • Allero@lemmy.today
        2·
        9 days ago

        As long as they want sexual connection as well, they technically are (Incel = involuntarily celibate)

        But the way incel culture manifested itself, incels began being associated with angry envious misogynistic young men, which is not great and certainly not a good mental framework for someone who just wants intimacy

        There are many ways people can start thinking of themselves as undesirable, unwanted, perpetually lonely, and we need to provide some social example for them to begin realizing flaws in their mentality, not reinforcing them.

        We should also combat the notion that relationships are everywhere and easy to find, and make sure to note many, many cases of people finding their first true love way after 30, 50 or even 70. It’s just never too late, and it’s not a race in the slightest.

        Witg the diversity of attractions, what one may find undesirable may be what the other desperately seeks.

    • 0ops@lemm.ee
      161·
      10 days ago

      That’s funny, I happen to have you tagged as an incel. Not sure if I want to remind myself why

      • Uli@sopuli.xyz
        10·
        10 days ago

        Based on his comment history, this guy doesn’t seem very well liked in general. Lots of incel vibes, and he does have some comments in German which I can’t read, but based on the downvotes, I think it’s safe to say his views are unpopular in any language.