I rarely ever ask. People are either in my sphere or not really. My first gf once told me ‘I could date any girl I wanted so why did I pick her’ and then explained quite a bit about what she meant. I told her the truth, that I could see enormous potential in her that I did not see in other people I encountered, and I really like brown eyed girls. The potential that I see in some other people is what causes them to become something of a curiosity and muse I can chose to explore. This dynamic seems to come together in a mutual interest like dynamic. There are some aspects of life that I am very bad at and the type of person I see great potential within seems to understand my flaws and weaknesses in helpful ways. I don’t have to “ask a person out” in this dynamic. When someone is compatible with me on this level, we just fall into each other’s orbits like an inevitable dance. At that point, any asking is more like a silly formality with little meaning. The hard part comes later because I change and evolve a lot with my interests and dive deeply into each one in ways that shape me greatly. Like in my cycling phase I was on a bike 400+ miles a week, but went from 350 lbs to under 190 lbs and raced. Few people can adapt like that.
Finding someone organically is the best way, for sure. But of course it’s also a numbers game. I believe in love, but not soulmates. Relationships are work in the end. Find someone you want to grow old with. Happy that you’ve stuck to your guns, worked on yourself, and that’s helped you find compatible partners. It’s the right way to approach it, I think.
How’s dating life going?
No one has ever turned me down for a date. You?
Good for you. Definitely had rejections. Sometimes we didn’t match, sometimes I was the asshole (realised after), sometimes they were.
I rarely ever ask. People are either in my sphere or not really. My first gf once told me ‘I could date any girl I wanted so why did I pick her’ and then explained quite a bit about what she meant. I told her the truth, that I could see enormous potential in her that I did not see in other people I encountered, and I really like brown eyed girls. The potential that I see in some other people is what causes them to become something of a curiosity and muse I can chose to explore. This dynamic seems to come together in a mutual interest like dynamic. There are some aspects of life that I am very bad at and the type of person I see great potential within seems to understand my flaws and weaknesses in helpful ways. I don’t have to “ask a person out” in this dynamic. When someone is compatible with me on this level, we just fall into each other’s orbits like an inevitable dance. At that point, any asking is more like a silly formality with little meaning. The hard part comes later because I change and evolve a lot with my interests and dive deeply into each one in ways that shape me greatly. Like in my cycling phase I was on a bike 400+ miles a week, but went from 350 lbs to under 190 lbs and raced. Few people can adapt like that.
Finding someone organically is the best way, for sure. But of course it’s also a numbers game. I believe in love, but not soulmates. Relationships are work in the end. Find someone you want to grow old with. Happy that you’ve stuck to your guns, worked on yourself, and that’s helped you find compatible partners. It’s the right way to approach it, I think.